Does ignoring the individual work? I am trying it to find out myself…
Nope… It does not.
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The only way to get over someone I find and I just got dumped by a women who I dated for just over a year and we were extreamly close. You have to get back on the hoarse.. I started out small.. Start with people you liked in the past and never really attempted to engage in anything with them.. It helped me im doing ok but it would be much worse if I just sat around.
I’ve just broken up with someone I dated for three years. Its hard to resist the urge to pick up and call but call friends instead. I suppose it helps to know that break ups are hard regardless, and that you will feel crap for a while. Let it wash over you, let it happen and know that you are not going crazy, just going through a natural pattern. Every day that goes by is in your favour, because it brings you closer to the day when you will wake up and realise you feel quite ok. Also, know that one day you will be lying in the arms of someone who you love and who loves you - on that day you’ll look back at today and say to yourself: “So that was the plan! That’s why everything happened the way it did!” You;ll know the heartache was worth it because it healed, and you find something more amazing that you ever had. It was meant to be that you broke up with this person. Know that, have faith, keep busy and let time do its thing.
Let yourself feel hurt; supressing the feelings will only make it worse. Once you have felt the feelings will have felt through; and than try to move onwards with your life meet new people; date new people!!
My girl and I haven’t actualy officially broke up, but we dont see each other and it really sucks she dosent have any feelings for me “so she says” And its driving me totally crazy when i know we are going to break up, theres no chance seeing her or talking sence… I just getting mad aching burning and i just you know… Im getting mad by time really i am…
he and i never dated, but man were we in love
but then i started freaking out cause the whole
situation was getting overwhelming
and you all say hang out with your friends and forget and let time do its magic
but thats the problem, he is one of my friends, and he and i are friends with almost all the same ppl
so that doesnt work
and yeah staying out and not moping around the house
crying your heart out is the way to go
till time kicks in
but man… its so hard sometimes
when you go to places that used to be your places
and hear songs that were your songs
You can’t just get over someone. Those feelings are just too strong. Sure, you can go out and meet new people, have a few flings, party all the time, but everything would still feel empty. You will not be happy, you’ll be fake. Eventually, you will meet someone new and fall in love. Then that love will overpower your feelings from the last guy. That’s the only way to get them off your mind all the time. For me, each love has gotten stronger.
I know what you guys are saying. It takes quite a lot for me to “really” likesomone, and the guy I liked felt the same way, but then for some bizarre reason I chickened out and decided not to “go for it”, so he married his ex, now says he still loves me and sometimes I think I’ll never meet anyone else. I have to keep believing that I will. He says he made a mistake but thats not my problem, I won’t cause a break-up, so I have to just get on with it. Sometimes it is hard….othertimes I believe there is someone else out there just as special.
Getting over a breakup is so hard, so the guy i was with had sex with anuther gal wen we wer stil going out nd then he doesnt tell me about it until after i mthrough with him, i found out from one of his friends but i didnt tell him i knew because i still really loved him and wanted to hide my sadness. The best way to get over a break-up as i have found out, is to see other people that you find attractive but know nothing will go beyond flirting. you can see other people which slowly pushes the person ur gettin over out of your mind but your not getting into anything serious agen because that will only scare you and you will get worried about commitment and may fall back on your ex- as comfort. when you heve been flirting and having fun with other people and you arnt thinking about calling your ex atall, your ready to start dating and looking for love. The trick is not to go looking for love again too soon because you will only get hurt and lose another person close to your heart, good luck everyone xxxx
Im going thu it right now, its way harder than i ever thought. Its been a month and shes already sleeping with someone else on a regular basis. I think the main thing is to keep busy. Its hardest at night when your trying to go to sleep and all you can think about is her with someone else, it drives me crazy. We have the same mates aswell which doesn’t help but i know that one day its not gunna hurt so bad and i might even wonder why it hurt at all.
I really sympathise with you. I was going through a break up some months ago. It was really, really hard. I stopped eating etc. But I established contact with people i never really got to know. I started enjoying my singleness again.
started liking the fact that i am me. still was not as easy as i make it sound. took a while. then i started being my usual self. talked to more people. felt liked. felt welcomed. felt powerful. felt me. and forgot her. i was also confused abt my orientation. coz i am female. and then i met someone else with whom i thought i could have something. he was really nice. we had much in common. but then i realised that i just overestimated what we had— based on the qualities I saw. its like we always pretended to be great friends coz we had so much in common but not coz we genuinly felt that emotion….it is so hard to know sometimes what is genuine and what is not. unfortunately, i had told him once that i liked him. this would have made him feel superior or something subconsciously. i dont like him anymore. coz i dont think we really match. i am over her. i am over him. but yes, sometimes i do wonder if he was really good and that i miss out on him. but i think i am also really good and special and he misses out on me. so there. Hahahahaha. I am sure sometime I will find someone again, anyway it might be tooooo boring to be with ONE person forever. More importantly, hope I will grow into a self-reliant woman who does not have to depend on anyone. I get along well with spontaneous people. but not with those who are too busy to respond and stuff. on second thoughts, if people are too busy to do things it probably means that they do not want to do them. also i think it is bullshit that one can be friends with people one likes. this woman liked me. it was awkaward at first but then again we became reaaaaly good friends. with men there is more ego shit. but the good thing is that i dont think abt him now, i just think abt me and carefreeness, my sportedfreeness that beleives in love, joy, enjoying life and being spiritual and creative. Peace and wishes to all. You can overcome everything. No one is worth your tears soooo much. seriously. also if things are not reciprocal, no point in hurting yourself. You WILL find others. Take care.
Getting over someone is the hardest obstacle! I think the best way to get over someone is let yourself feel the hurt and talk to friends and family because being with people that love you is the best medicine. Next, you HAVE to move on with your life as soon as possible, and learn to live your life without that person in it. Your time is precious and should not be spent pining over the past. I know all this takes time but all good things take time, believe me! Next, the worst thing you could do is get drunk, call them at midnight, and asking why this all had to happen, or hang out at the same bars they do as part of the healing process. No news is good news and the last thing you want is a feud over the phone or him out with his new date etc. It just hurts you a thousand times more! You dont want the short end of the stick! and certainly dont want him/her to think of you as that psycho that they once dated! You have just been released into a world of opportunity and with lots of fish in the sea. That person that has broken your heart has just given away to someone who is a thousand times better than you have ever dreamed, its true!
The last sentence made no sense. what i meant was, that person that has broken your heart has just given you away to someone who is a thousand times better than you have ever dreamed. Oh and look after yourselfs, be the person you could have never been while with them and follow your dreams!
I dated someone for a year and was really close to them. He was in love with me over 8 months afterward but I knew it wouldnt work and didnt go back. Now, a year and a half after our breakup I am with someone amazing. its been 5 months with this new guy that is everything I dreamed of… but soemtimes i wonder if I really am over my ex. Its horrible and I want to move on, but its been hard to keep those memories and thoughts of my ex to a rare occurance. How do you know you really are over someone anyway?
i agree that the only way to get over some1 is to move on and date others. although this back fired on me. my ex won’t get back with me because i kissed someone two weeks after we split up. we were together 18months, i was just trying to move on thinking that our relationship was completely over, but he thinks this proves i don’t care for him as much and is as bad as cheating, which isn’t true cause i wouldn’t be in agony right now if it was, although i will still carry on dating new people i still believe that finding another is still better than being alone, trying to recover from a breakup. time will heal all..
Im going through it right now as well. I just found out that my girlfriend cheated on me while she was in California…..and even before, she made it so obvious that she was falling out of love with me, and it hurts really bad, especially knowing that you gave all you could and loved her more than you would love anyone else. Im slightly screwed on the going out and meeting new people part since i broke my leg 2 weeks ago. So here i am, sitting at home, while thoughts of her crush my heart…..any advice for me?
It hurts real bad going through a huge break up, 2 years, down da drain, got dumped for a school, she left me and we couldnt work it out, now she pops out with “i dont love you anymore and dont see a future with you”, i felt my heart stop, i felt real bad, couldnt think, its not easy geting over someone you thought you would marry, and gave them the world, goes to show, shit happens, ive cried like a baby for days,months. partying,flings,random hookups dont work like everyone else says, da feelings stay and they still hurt, they dont really leave. will they ever? i really dont know, so many good memories…i hope she realizes how much she fuked up, for all u suckers like me, i feel you and i hope it works out with the girl you of your dreams. some of us get lucky some of us dont, If it’s love they will come back. “goodbye my lover -james blunt” p/o people
I’ve thought I was going with a guy for a year. We have know each other for 15yrs. He said we were just friends, not boyfriend and girlfriend. My heart is so broken. I actually fell in love with him.. I guess he wasn’t ready for a comittment.
I have been “hanging” out with this guy for over 6 months now, and just the other day he said he just wanted to be friends. i cheated on my last b/f with him and thought that is was really going to work. ill be the first to admitt he isnt the nicest guy in the world, but thats why HE dumped me. bc he hated the way he treated me and he is going to be super busy this summer. but yet he said he has never felt this way about anyone before. is it bull, or is he really just scared b/c he knows i might just be too good for him? i hate it.. how do i get over this kid? i told him i would wait, but i dont think i should but i care so much…grr
me and my girl broke up and she tells me that we are gonna get back together. She says she needs like a month away and she will be ready for good to stay together. i dont understand it makes no sense att all. I wish i could get over her and move one but part of me wants to wait. Overall id jus have to say im screwed i dont know what to do and i dont know where to go. im lost
i would have gotten over my ex-boyfriend a long time ago, if he had only given me the space to do so. i found out that he was with someone and i told him to choose between both of us. apparently he wanted to have his cake and eat it too, so i left him feeling so hurt that i had invested so much love, time and energy into the relationship because he said it would be just the two of us.i made the decision but i think he is happier with her than he pretends. anyway, why does he still keep coming around me when he knows he has nothing to offer me.i know that if he keeps his distance i’ll keep mine. but hey, that’s life …you win some and you lose some. how do you get over such an egotistical man who you once founf comfort with.i’m so sorry i met him.i know i’ll be over him soon but there is a lump of rejection in my throat cause i had to let him go since he didn’t want me and wasn’t honest enough to say it.ASSHOLE.
look samantha, the only way to get over this guy is to FORGET HIM!!!!u know thats the right thing to do, he didn’t mean you any good from the beginning and he is going to just keep hurting you if you let him. avoid him and find other things to keep your mind occupied like party and stuff!!Celebrate , you have just gotten rid of a load of shit and he is no longer your concern.
Whenever you think about the person,just picture him/her taking a big fat dumb.You’ll be digusted and feel nothing but utter disgust.It is bound to work.
Okay, I read every blog as I am going through the same healing process. My ex-boyfriend and I broke-up two years ago and we have intimately entertained getting back together for the last two years since we both were in love ( or so he said). Only to find out those last two years he was seeing someone else! I ran into them four days ago at one of his houses he was having built. She and I were livid at him. He called me several times and showed up on my porch to explain he wasn’t having sex and he was only with her one year. She and I exchanged numbers (don’t know if this was a good idea) her word only catapolted my pain and anger. She explained and elaborated just to cause me more pain. The bottom line is all the bad times and problems we had, all connected now, knowing he was seeing someone else. It all made sense now and I know he was seeing her for two years. Why was he seeing me too? I gave him something she didn’t and she gave him something I didn’t. I was the love and affection and she was the stable, peaceful one. He had his cake and ate mine too. I hated him for playing me so bad. I tried to go out with one of those several others that liked me and I felt like I was faking. I loved the idiot and my heart is having a hard time with this. I’ll slowly re-enter the dating scene and just keep busy allowing myself to stop thinking about what injusted he rendered on me. The bad part is that I helped him open a cafeteria business on my job and have to see him everyday or just don’t ever go eat in the cafe’. I do understand it had nothing to do with me and everything to do with him. I worried if he was begging her back as she said he wsa and he denied, but realized she would be the dumb one cuz obviously she wasn’t enough if he was coming to me for intimacy. He just better be glad I’m not really crazy or he would have been in the news. I’ll be okay, I’ll be OKAY!
I’ve been in love with this girl for a very a long time. We are very good friends. Actually when I fell in love with her she noticed that something was different and insisted that i share it with her. I told her that I was in love but didnt tell her the name. At one point we got drifted apart but after 2 long years we had rediscovered ourselves as friends. We got really close and she insisted that i propose to the girl that I fell in love with. So I proposed her. But she said no!!! It always felt that she knew who it was..for some reason. Now it seems really difficult for me to get over her. We are still good friends and I keep pretending that I am ok with the fact that she rejected me..but I am not..I hate to know that some day she would find someone and get married..I am a very practical person and I know that you somehow always get over..but for now it doesnt feel like that..
Iv fallen in love with this guy i work with him hes with sumone else but i just cant seem to move on i cry over him everyday i cnt sleep eat or do anything i no people say keep ur self busy but it rly doesnt work im just 2 depressed and cnt b bothered 2 go out unless its to see him. im only 16 and hes 25 does anyone think theres anything wrong with that and what shall i do?
I have just been dumped by my boyfriend of 6 months, I really love him but apparently the feeling isnt returned. Its hard to believe it though because I am not the sort of person to stay around if I dont feel loved - he has huge commitment issues and is going away for a long time this autumn and didnt see the longterm potential.
I can only tell myself that things happen for a reason, that he obviously wasnt the person for me othersie he would realise how goddamn wonderful I am - does anyone want to be with someone who thinks theyre “ok” but is still looking for someone better to come along?? Me neither, the loneliness will pass as it takes 21 days to break a habit and then Im setting myself loose on the unsuspecting public because there is no way Im wasting a summer feeling blue. I hope you all feel better too!
I just broke up with my boyfriend, and i Really love him but he tells me he doesnt love me anymore.It Sucks so Bad.But im not gonna be with someone who doesnt even love me. I will find someone better. He is the one who loses out. NOT ME. I ve been crying for a steady week and i need something else to do besides cry over him. The one thing that my goverment teacher told me was Never cry over a boy, theyre just a waste of your time.The Man that makes you cry is gonna make you cry tears of JOY!!! Not Saddness. Thats the one thing that ill never forget him saying.I think the reason why i am so upset is because i feel the pressure to have a boyfriend since i am still in high school. thank goodness i am almost done. I am gonna have a great summer ahead of me…stress free with out him.
Okay, it’s been a few weeks since I wrote my saga, I still work with him and it slows the healing process. He even had the nerve to see if he could get intimate with me again. I refused and ran away, but I recently helped him out of a problem, when I could have let him crash and burn. I still love him and realize that I have the problem. I have been rejected (htis has never happened to me in life) therefore, I am not getting the love and acceptance I thought I needed from him and I have been going to great lengths to get it, almost obsessively. Rejection brings loneliness and great pain. I know that I know that I’m better off without him and if he doesn’t want me why do I want to be with him? He brought me to a breaking point and I actually have to be thankful for that. It hurts like a mutha, but the key word is break. Sometimes we have to break to find new direction or a breakthrough. He would have been a terrible mate, untrustworthy, uneducated, unpolished, and egotistical. Who know what kind of life we would have had together. He saved me. I am learning no matter what he’s done and how many times he’s let me down again and again, I can’t be bitter, I actually have to rejoice that I can actually have a better life than the one I was so bent on having with this guy. He will be the one unhappy, because until he gets right…he will get left. I turn to my friends, my God and release my frustrations and move on. You must vent and release the pressure, thanks for this page. I will write again in a few weeks to allow those who are going through the same to witness the healing process and see the hope. Because I would have never dreamed I could get over this guy…I was wondering in the wilderness, wasting my time for 4 yrs. Not another minute…my happiness is moments ahead of me!
Hey yh i broke up with my boy f just two weeks ago but they’ve flew by but he stil on my mind no matter where i go or what i do. It ok when i am busy but when you are lying in bed waiting to go to sleep that worst or wen urs and him song comes on it seems everything reminds you of them which is gay. One thing is each day it gets a little bit easier. What I do is give myself a target to do each day seems ludacris but it helps because it gives you something to look forward to and to complete and kinda takes ya mind of them for a while. It isnt easy and it really annoy me wen pps are like you will get over it yes u will but u jus bin deeply in love with that person probs thought they were the one and then for this to happen u feel like ur world eneded anywayss i no one day i’ll wake up and ill be ok but till that day comes i will have to keep busy!
I am currently trying to get over someone I might be in love with. I met him about year and a half ago, we work together. We stared hanging out together alot, and had a really good time. He tells me I am attractive, that I am good looking, and that I should be with someone who can be good to me. By the way, I am not involved wiht anyone. The last guy burned me so bad that I decided to be single for a while. But this guy that I work wiht just changed everything. I think I am seriouly into him, but he doesn’t know. I can’t tell him. I am not sure why he is being nice to me, is it because he feels bad for me or becasue he really is interested. I told him I was through with dating because of my past relationship, but he just won’t go away. He hasn’t asked me out on a date, but keeps telling me things like: we are all not the same, I am great to women, you can have fun wiht the right one. I am not sure how to interpret this anymore. It’s been a year since I fell for him, and I am not sure what to do anymore. I just think he a player and doesn’t really like me. This situation sucks. Just when I think I am getting over him, he comes back with one of his lines. I just want to free myself of him. I don’t want to care about him or anything he says. I wish he would just stop giving me hope. I am going crazy over this. I can’t sleep or eat. He is all I ever think about. I can’t even concentrate on my work anymore. I know it’s pathetic, but I don’t know how to control it anymore.
I read all of these and I have to say that it really helps. At least I know that there are others going through the same thing. My boyfriend of 5 months just told me that he needed space by himself and that, oh, by the way, met someone that he also wants to see. He proceeded to tell me that he thought seeing other people would let him know how true his love is for me. He’s 25 and I’m 29, that is stuff you say in high school or college. Well, it shouldn’t be said period. It’s only been a week and i have been so upset crying myself to sleep at night. The thing is, that before he told me this stuff, I was thinking that the relationship didn’t seem right. I felt that, though he said he loved me, I didn’t feel it b/c he spent so much time with others and only 2-3 times a week with me. We did everything on his time table. If he had plans or didn’t want to hang out, we didn’t. If he felt like grilling out, we did. If I had plans he would say that I was ruining everything. Also, he was jealous of every guy that I was friends with, ironic seeing as though he is the one that went and met someone. I felt like i could only say certain things around him or he would turn it into a fight. Ok, after saying all of that, then WHY am I crying over him? It’s ridiculous!! I should be jumping up and down and saying THANK GOD that I didn’t end up with him. I think for now, i need a break from dating even though everyone on here suggests dating casually right away to get over it. I am just worried about my judgement. This isn’t the first guy that has turned out to be such an ass. I think in the beginning that this person is sooo different and wonderful and by the end I think, oh my God what was I thinking. The worst part is that I don’t get out when I should, I wait for them to break it off every time. My question is, does it get easier and how do I take the blinders off?
It has been two months since my four month relationship ended. Yes, it was only four months but enough to fall in love and be hurtful for the next two months. There’s more… We didn’t break up because we had relationship problems, or we hated eachother; we broke up because we both agreed that it was the right thing to do. We agreed that I should work on fixing my marriage. Yes, I am married and we broke up so that I would not throw my marriage away. However, it’s been two months of hell as I can’t focus on anything except “him”. It was amazing to find someone so compatible with you that sometimes I wished for a time machine — trust me when I say that we were great together… Now I’m trying to let “him” go but It doesn’t help that I work with him and see him all the time, which sometimes we end up meeting after work to talk/cope, but ending up “all over eachother” causing the feelings to come back, and me not being able to let “him” go - again. I’m trying to let “him” go but he’s there at all time, I often get weak and call him, and why wouldn’t I, he’s geat and I’m in love with him. But the problem comes back when he’s not there all the time and I feel like someone is stabbing me. In regards to my marriage; we have problems that I admit avoiding talking to my husband about it. Although, the few times that I have brought up certain problems, my husband turns it all around on me as it’s always my fault, and I should fix things. His actions are mostly the reason why I didn’t regret having an affair. I also don’t know if I’m still in love with my husband; the eight years that I’ve been married to him have been a battle on my side as I always give in and please him, but right now I’m running out of “love unit” as I’m about to blow up!!! Yet, I gave up (kinda) a great guy to try to fix something that may not have hope….I don’t know what to do. I’m hurtful all day long because I don’t have “him” as I’m trying to fix a husband doesn’t respect me. Can my husband be changed? Do people change? Should I give up on my marriage? Should I quit my job to avoid seeing “him” and only focus on my marriage?
Any suggestions would be great….
Im a junior in high school. I met a guy. He was absoulutely amazing and treated me like a princess. So we went out for a year and a half and I just broke up with him five days ago. I knew something was wrong when he started to make up excuses for us not to hang out. I used to pick him up from work but lately, he hadnt been wanting me to. He had been saying he was with his dad/friends/brother/etc..This made me really suspicious so one night I decided to surprise him and pick him up. He walked out with another girl and they left together. He called later that night, not knowing that I had seen him, and said he had been with his friend. I broke up with him. It turned out he had never done anything with her, he just liked her alot. I would have rather him cheated on me. I think its the worst feeling when your boyfriend actually has feelings for someone else. You think there’s something wrong with you and that you arent good enough. Now I feel like no one will ever love me. I’ll never be able to act like myself again around someone else. It hurts and I can’t stop crying. I spent every day with him. Every place and every song has a memory. I know he misses me too and its hard for him. I dont know what to do..im so confused.
Its great to have a read of all of the above. Nice to know that others are feeling the same way as me. I have been breaking up with my boyfriend since February, but tonight it feels really over between us. We have been together for over 5 years now & our r’ship was incredible. I won’t bore you all with the details of why it ended because its very complicated, but i am going to try do good things for myself over the next while, do what makes me happy, do what makes me me. I think that is the way to get over someone - be your own person, rather than a part of a couple & by making new experiences for yourself, you will grow in another direction that will take you somewhere else where you won’t be plagued by memories of a love lost.
well I am currently 3 days into the worst possible break up in my l asife. At least after I found out now all the messed up stuff instead of later.
I got jumped defending this girl and my nose got messed up so now i have a scar from defending the lying snake i was with. I bought us a house and took a job working for the same company as her, in 2 years she had not come home about 5 times on weekends and never called, bassically dissapeared, now looking back, the first suspician i shoulda hightailed it as fast as I could, but i loved her so i didnt ask questions, and gave her the benifit of the doubt. She proceeded to tell me she loved me, sleep itht ive n\e same bed, and pulled another no show, and i found out she slept with a guy that works accross the street from our building.
Heart ripped out, and practically spit on. I confronted her asking her what happened, (we had pretty broken up) and she lied to my face,
To the curb with the vile snake. So now I have to work around lying cheating people, and look across the street. I cant decide if i should quit, I think sticking around her will lengthen my healing emensly, And i have another job lined up., my freinds think I would be running away because the other job is back home (colorado). I think a major scene change/relocation helps heal stuff faster, i have alot of friends i can hang out with back in colorado as well.
Bottom line is it does hurt like hell, but time and destraction, keeping your mind on somthing else helps in the intial time, As its been said, trying to not be alone is helpfull, I think the best thing that helped me change my perspective from victimized to at least content was that getting rid of a cheater gets rid of a messed up negative thing, and that Is always a good thing in the end, no matter how much you loved them.
If they cheat, get rid of em, you dont deserve that kinda stuff, and it will be fine eventually.
good luck everyone.
Don’t be desperate. Don’t beg. If you are broken up with, as hard as it may be, leave him alone. Spend time with friends, and take advantage of the things you could not do before, while in the relationship. Meet other people and takes things slow. And don’t call him, email him, or message him. Or at least don’t do it a lot. I just got out of an 18 month relationship, which we both knew was sort of going badly, and I admit I have contacted my ex, but I am trying to keep this to a minimum. You can’t get over someone if you are always wanting to hear from him, or talk to him. Let him be.
I just got out of a 8 month relationship with my boyfriend two weeks ago. It’s been really hard, but I am very proud of myself for not calling him or let other aspect of my life fall behind. The hardest thing is knowing someone who promise to love you forever can change their mind so easily when things get rough. The lesson I learned the most is that I deserve to be love for who I am and if that person can’t accept me for all of me including my flaws then that’s not the person for me. The best thing is to focus on yourself, what makes you happy. Happiness shouldn’t be depended on others. Now that I am out of the relationship, I feel more motivatied than ever to improve who I am as a person. I changed my diet, exercising, getting spa treatments, starting new hobbies, all this things really help me to get over someone. It also tells me that the relationship wasn’t meant to be and now I can be a better person for my next partner.
hey guys
i just broke up with my boyfriend because he is a liar. when u break up with someone, i know its hard to get over them… but just keep reminding urself of how horrible this person was to u and how u deserve so much more. i have to keep meeting this guy, so i dont actually know how im gonna cope with having him near me for 3 days…. but im sure that i dont want to go bak to the way things wr!
its hard to get rid of guys. but i also realised that the only reason i was with this guys was because i craved kissing and stuff with him. but thats not life is all about…
i hope i get ova this guy.. but i still kinda wanna b friends.
wish me luck~!
My girlfriend and I just broke up. It was a mutual thing but I did initiate the convo. that ended it all. Based on certain things that she said and did I suspected that maybe she did not truly care for me. There was a lot of physical intamacy between us yet when I would tell her I liked her she had trouble saying it back. This bothered me, it made me wonder if all she wanted was the physical and nothing more. When a girl gets as physical with me as she did, I begin to believe that she wants something meaningful. But she gave me mixed signals as far as that was concerned and this made me insecure about the genuiness of her feelings for me. There were also times when I felt she did not respect my opinions. She also admited that she has trouble with committment.
However, I blame most of this on myself. I realize now that I smothered her with attention and affection. I think that this turned her off. Now I am kicking myself. I just wish I hadn’t taken it so fast. Perhaps if I played the game differently and let her enjoy the “thrill of the chase”, we would still be together. I made it too easy for her and this killed any feelings she had for me. I feel like it’s my fault. Maybe she wouldn’t have had trouble coming across to me if I hadn’t rushed things. What’s worse is that in the beginning, I wasn’t rushing and then I started analyzing her feelings and taking things seriously. This caused me to go to fast which destroyed everything that I built with my own two hands.
Now, I obssess over her all day. It’s like a drug. My body aches from head to toe. I have to find a way to believe for sure that she wasn’t worth it. I’m going to have a nervous breakdown soon if I can’t find a way to relax. Was she just taking me for a ride or did I ruin something good? I have to find out either way or else I’m going to go crazy!!
My boyfriend of 8mths and i have been going through a rough patch. He says his work commitments are getting in the way and he can see that he upsets me when he cant be there for me like he used to. he had been treating me badly but still says that its not my fault. as a result of this we are on a break. i had given him a few weeks to sort himself out, and if that cant be done we would need to have a chat about where it was going.
Its only been half the time that i had given him, but it makes me so upset to know that he’s out there having fun and doing what he wants while im here waiting for him. Ive come to the realisation that he wont go back to the way he was anytime soon, so ive decided to break up with him. It sucks when there was a time when we were so in love and couldnt get enough of each other. we were even planning on getting married (had the ring and all), which is why i had planned on waiting for him.
it was hard to make the decision but why should i put my time and emotions into someone who wont do the same? ive had to think positively about the whole thing so that i dont get upset. but what do i do now?
I’ve continued seeing this guy for a year and a half , Bad and I mean a BAD relationship .I Should’ve jumped ship and I knew it , but I stayed I liked his style , liked the things he said . He made me laugh . He was silly and fun. I figured he was screwing with someone else when we first met , turns out I was right . Hell he had a girlfriend already and was doing her , her friend , and myself . Jeez leewwez , dang-nation the boy was a regular action jackson. We went to bars and parties ,he hit on girls when I was with him. I started cheating on him with his roomate and my Ex and other ppl , I felt guilty each time. I became pregnant and stopped messing around. I tried to keep true to him cuz I promised him I would be and he promised me he would be too . He landed himself in the county lock-up on DUI charges and now I’ m by myself , been messing with my Ex . I put his shirt on ( btw the shirt I bought him as part of a Valentines Day present this year ) reached into the pocket and to my suprise there was an empty condom wrapper , no explanation required . I know that he was fucking around on me then a couple of months before .I did feel guilty for messing with my Ex but not now. Hell I wanted to marry him but nope, skip that noise . Oh well , wanted to trust him but there is just no way possible now. Without trust there is no relationship . I have to go back to school and go back to work , I’m not going to be worrying about what he’s doing at MY house when I’m not home. I haven’t broken it to him yet , he is still in jail . I don’t want to say anything or cause a big drama , just want his shit out of my place and get on with my own shit. He is however the father of my child as he signed the birth certificate , So I have to put up with him probably for the next 18 years. Unless I can get him to sign off on the parental rights . I don’t really think the baby is his. He does take good care of the baby .Though We have a lot of disagreements mainly over trust issues some have gotten very violent , he was arrested. My family and friends are angry with me for staying with him. He had isolated me from them. Right now I’m hanging out waiting for him to get out then maybe I’ll end it . I don’t know what to do. He may get more time for violating a previous probation , he may even be deported back to the country he is from. Don’t know yet.
He screws around on me ,I screw around on him , there is just nothing there. I don’t even want to screw with him anymore . I care about him I’ll probably miss all the stuff we used to do but I’ve got a future and a child to raise. I need someone stable and ready to settle into family life , until i find that person I’ll probably try to get my shit sorted out .
My ex and I broke up 3 weeks ago. I felt as thought for the first two weeks I was holding on to any and all hope that my phone would ring, it would be him calling telling me he wanted me back. My mother had surgery today and I called his mother to update her about the surgery and he answered. He was so cold, distant, as though the year we were together didnt even happen. He seemed annoyed that it was me on the phone. After him giving me short answers and seemingly uninterested, I called his hand. I asked him if he was even planning on asking about my mother. He got tiffed and hung up the phone. I later talked to my cousin who really shed some light for me. I’m 27, she’s 37 and is an amazing woman. Her advice to me was that the minute he said it was over, to take the attitude ” OK, BYE.” And never call again. Leave his butt alone. She said “if you have to, call friends instead of the ex. Go out and do the things you never could or did do while you were together to make new memories, with out him. Put a pillow behind you at night to feel yourself close to something. Buy a great vibrator because sometimes the loss of the physical intimacy is just as destructive as the emotional loss.” I’m finding that there is more to it than that, but her attitude of really showing me that if someone is emotionally absent when you have needed them the most, better to find out now they aren’t from good stock than to marry them and really be crushed down the road. There is a plan for everyone one of us on this earth. Whether you believe it is divine or from your own determination and will, we all have to walk out some sort of plan. I’ve realized my plan is not brooding in anger or hurt, but literally reaching down deep inside, into your stock. Your fortitude, your determination to not let the actions of someone else determine what kind of a life you will live. I can not control my ex, I can not make him go, nor can I make him stay. But I can control how I live and love from this point on. Love is not an emotion, it is truly a choice. I am chosing right now to put the past behind me. He made his intentions clear when he broke off the engagement. All I can do is chose to love myself, even in the midst of my mistakes in the relationship, and breathe. Breathe in and out, put one foot in front of the other and take one day at at time. All I can do is chose to love again. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but one day sooner than I realize, I will be at a crossroads again where I am deciding about dating, getting serious, falling in love, chosing to trust, and saying yes again to a proposal. But for today, I’m in love. I’m in love with a new beginning, a new hope, a new leash on life. I’m not keeping score, I’m not wallowing in the past, I’m chosing to let it go. Yes, it hurts. But so does cancer, so does a toothache, so does a splinter. But eventually the hurt fades, the wound isnt tender anymore and sometimes it doesnt even leave a scar. Somtimes you cant even remember the pain as bad as it was. My mother equated it to childbirth. It hurts getting something that large out of your body, but once it is out, the pain stops. And you are left with a new beginning, a new life. Take it and make it your own.
well here’s my story, started hooking up with this guy we were both in it for the whole friends with benefits deal he stayed in it for that reason but my feelings evolved to something more, wanted to start something with him but he was going off to college. ended real real real bad, we go to the same college im dating someone new who the complete opposite of this guy, treats me with respect, loves me, wants the best for me, takes care of me, treats me like a princess and yet 3 years later, i still can’t get over the guy that screwed me over, and im almost convinced i will never get over him…bottom line-
“every woman needs one old love that she can imagine going back to and one love to show her how far she has come”
maybe we’re not ever really supposed to get over “that” person?
Its hard!! Really hard!! When you have practically almost lived with the guy for all of your college life and suddenly he graduates and has to leave and you are stuck all by yourself on campus with nothing to do and noone to go to coz all your friends have alreayd left for home…I think I am goign crazy! I dont know of a life oncampus without him. We used to eat, drink, study….do almost EVERYTHING together and now suddenly I find myself all alone..With NO fault of ours!! I still love him to death. He loves me to death…WHy did we break up?? COZ OUR FREAKING PARENTS WONT AGREE…see we belong to two different countries…different cultures…different religions…The only common factor that brought us both together was college…had the best times together…
we knew this was all gonna come to an end one day but we still carried on..we were so in love..its been 2 weeks since he left and its killing me…I dont think my life is worth living anymore..I dont think I can ever find a person who can love me as much as he did! Its impossible…He sacrificed so much for me. Even I didnt do so much for him as he did for me and yet..its all over……
I even almost cheated on him once. I dont know what came over me…but I kissed a guy and I was so freaking guilty about it later that I couldnt stop crying for two days..Then I went and told him what I did…I couldnt bear the guilt anymore…and all he said “Stop crying…You dont deserve to cry.”
How can someone be so good to someone who has been so bad to him!! I love him more than anything else in the world…I just wish I could find some way of getting back with him…but I dont think I am ever seeing him again….
I broke up with my ex of 7 months about a month ago and it feels like hell.
When I met him I did not think he was my type or anything, but fun to be with.
We did not have a bad relationships but it was a strange one. All we’d do is sitting around watching horror movies every night, going to the pub or meeting his friends (all his exes, yes his exes)… I could not make my peace with the fact he only socialises with his exes and I got jealous and could not see them having anything in common but there was one who was always there, the one I had my doubts about as he did not like me and made me feel uncomfortable…
When my Father passes away I had to go back to my hometown and everyone called me but him, who only sent me an email saying sorry and if I was ok. I was determined to dump him there and then but my Mum convinced me some people react to this differently that I should be more understanding.
My ex would drop anything for his last ex and that, together with the lack of sex made me thing he was cheating on me.
I would get drunk and tell him how I was angry about his indifference and his straneg attachement to this guy. He would just say that there is nothing going on, that we should not talk too much about the relationship cause it will only kill it.
He promised to do many things with me and he never did. I was getting bored of the same routine all the time. I had some exams coming up and I decided I’d dump him after them. I got ill and he never came to visit. He said he was not a Doctor to help me and that he’d have to wake up too early for work if he came.
I could not take it anymore and told him that maybe we should call it a day. he said yes, the best thing to do.
He let me go so easily and a week before he said he was blissfully happy with me. This all made me feel like I have been used and really, emotionally abused. I went mad, started texting him, emailing him abusive stuff. I was angry and lost. He siad He had not loved me for the past 4 months and he was only pretending. He said he was now relieved he did not have to do it anymore. This is what killed me.
I still am and I am ashamed of the things I said and having humiliated myself so much.
I am alone and still miss him and I am unfortunately still hoping he’ll come back and say he still loves me, but I know he is an emotionally unavailable person and I was only wasting my time with him. I went along with whatever he wanted to do when we were together and now I see that was my mistake and not having drawn a line between the 2 of us in order to see him from a distance and study him and decide if I wanted to go further…. Sometimes loneliness makes you do the most stupid things.
I will get better but it is so hard and I keep thinking I am going mad and reproaching myself for having done what I did.
I have everybody beat on how long couples were with each other. Me and my girl were together for 3 and a half years. We were engaged once. She dumped because of me. I know this only because I realized how much of a champion asshole I was. I would get mad at the little things that shouldn’t have mattered if you were in love. I was controlling, everything had to be my way. She was with the plan until we started fighting every other day. How could it have come to his. All those promises of being together forever, talking about our future kids, how we were gonna be when we were old and grey. God, I miss her terribly. Is it just me or do any of you feel as if your chest has been caved in, and your soul has been injected with the most hurtful poisons. I can’t sleep at night, I constantly think about her. I try to do things that would make me forget, trying to keep busy but the pain endures. I feel as if I’m slowly dying from the inside out. It’s true what they say, you never know what you have till it’s gone. There are so many “What Ifs?” that I could have done to make this relationship better. I guess when it comes to love, you can’t change who you are. Am I making progress to seeing a brighter day? Why do I feel like she’s going to come back to me? I wish I could go back in time and change my ways from the very beginning. She was my highschool sweetheart. What if I don’t find anybody that measures up to her? The pain is so thick, that I wish I had never met her so the thought of her leaving me wouldn’t haunt me. Please help me.
Yup i know exactly what it’s like except that my ex dumped me 7 months ago and i still find myself thinking about it and it really hurts. The last time i saw him was in January and he broke up with me on January 13th… a Monday, a day i will never forget. He was my first relationship so i had no idea what to expect when i began dating him. We were only for a month and a half and even though that does not seem long, it seems like a whole year to me since in that short time i had gotten to know him well, at first i was really shy and in doubt of everything (my situation at home at this time was not stable and i was feeling pretty bad) yet whenever i saw him things got better. However New Years changed everything… he said some stuff to a friend of mine when he was drunk. After that everything fell apart, she told me and i told him… he stopped contacting me for a long tim, endless weeks without a call or message from him, it drove me crazy. I’d email him in hope of a reply but he never emailed back until one day i just asked him what was going on and he said he was really messed up, apologised and said he wanted to be friends. When you hear the word “friends” you instantly know that it’s over. I was absoloutely crushed, for weeks i could not get over it, everything was miserable and i could not bring myself together. Constant reminders of him were everywhere to me, the places we had been, the music he listened to, the people he knew etc it’s really hard.
Now that time has passed i still sometimes say the occassional hi, and he will too. But it’s the not the same anymore and i know it never will be. My friend is going to his house this Friday and she wanted me to go and even though a part of me really does i know i can’t. He has not invited me so therefor it gives me no reason to go and see him. I long to be with him again and wish things were how they used to be but i know in my heart that is impossible. It will take me a long time to fully heal but each day is getting easier, it’s not as hard as the first few months. i just have to keep myself occupied, meet new people and slowly move ahead yet i will never forget the times we had. that is something nobody can ever take away from me.
i was chatting to improve my english & i met him online , he seemed so cute and respected .. after few weeks he said i need u in my life as a wife i tried to tell him that it wouldn’t work because we didn’t know each other that well, but he said that he is going to loose his mind if i didn’t accept him … so i loved him and frankly i loved so much so honestly i loved him in a wat i can’t express… but suddenly he changed his numbers without saying a word i kept trying to find him although i knew very well that we weren’t in the same country but it was just like if i wanted to do anything to help myself … and after 2 months which i spent doing nothing just crying and thinking of him the whole day i found him once online i talked to him but he didm’t reply and i bigged him 2 much just to answer me and to tell me wgat had happened but after a very long period he said simply : dear my parent didn’t accept the whole issue and they forced me to be engaged to another girl whom they choosed for me , just forget me live ur life and wish me good luck in my coming life…
i was shocked i tried to kill myself but i didn’t die .. the problem now isn’t only that i can’t stop loving him but also i can’t forget him i tried my best to move on but i gained nothing … he was my first love and i loved him so much i will do anything to be with him but how ? i am only 20 but i feel that i can’t bear all that it is really hard to bear it .. plz tell me what to do ?
give me any advice that will help me plz :’(
Well I dated this guy for two years and we broke up about 10 months ago and it still hurts like it was yesterday. He was my first love and the first guy that I allowed myself to trust. I opened up my soul to him and gave him all that I had, which in the end was the worse thing I could do, because when I had to walk away…I had nothing. I didn’t know how to breathe without him and I felt like I was going to literally die. I know it sounds crazy to talk like this…trust me I never thought I would be this way…but when you love someone, really love someone and it ends, its one of the hardest things. We talked about marriage and kids, and I was pretty sure we were going to get married. I guess I learned there are no guarantees in this life. So let me tell you how it all went down…a year into our relationship I found out he cheated on me…we broke up, but I took him back in hopes of working things out. We were doing really good, even decided to get an apartment together, which is a really big step for me because I do not believe in premarital living. But the fact of the matter was I still hurt and that hurt in turn made me pick fights because I was hurting. I didnt trust him..I would check his cell phone when he was in the shower…but I loved him and I was determined to make it work. Well one day he told me he was interested in a girl that he worked with and I had to pack up all my stuff, leave the place I thought was my home, the place I felt the safest and try and understand. This was def the hardest time in my life. I didnt eat, so much to the point that I lost 15 lbs and ended up in the hospital. I slept all the time, I went out drinking all the time in hopes of drowning the pain, I literally was a stranger in my own body. I didnt know what to do. I know this sounds like something that a weak person would do, but trust me its not even about that…its about loving someone soo much and not knowing how to let them go when they are telling you that you have to. Like I said, its been 10 months and I’m still very much in love with him and I tried the whole going out thing and meeting new people but its not working for me. As soon as I start liking someone, I run so far and so fast because I’m soo scared and I do not know how to care for someone else. Is is possible that you are supposed to love someone? I just wish I knew what to do so I could live again.
Well, I am in the middle of a breakup. I bet no one who ever posts here reads it again afterwards but heres my story for the record. I have been going out with a woman for three years, we are both in our 30’s and decided we were going to give it a good go right from the start. We knew we were very different people but we both found each other attractive and liked each other. OVer the three years we have gone out together I think we grew to love each other but there was always something missing…that ‘connection’ that you have when its true love…the kind of love that would let you die for the other person…we dont have that….we have comfortable wrapped in a blanket type love but not the insane crazy love that completely consumes you, which is what I think we are both looking for. Either way we have decided to break it off as netiher of us think we are completely happy….but I still love her and worst of all is she is gong to be in my life for the net two months driving me crazy. If she is going to go I just wish she would leave and get it over with but our situation is extremely complicated we own property together and live in the same flat…its all just really sucks and I hate it. I feel like I am going crazy insane half the time and I just want to kill something to make me feel better and the other half the time I feel nothing and I want to bash my hand into a wall or burn myself with a lighter just to be able to feel something, anything at all.
It’s been months after the break up of 2years w/ my ex. It’s so hard trying to 4get him. He was my first in everything. During the 2 years we’d been 2geta, he still has feelings 4 sum1 else. It hurts knowing that those 2 years didnt mean crap to him. I felt like i wasnt good enough, that i couldnt even replace that girl in his heart. B4 when we were separated, he told me he’s waiting for 2 people right now. 1 was me and the other is that “girl”. What’s the point of saying that…I was right there in front of him, waiting. Why do he have to wait for the other girl who has a bf already? That makes me think that he doesn’t truely love me. So i wasted my 2 years with him and during those 2 years was just a lie. I told myself to get over him,try to not call him, try not to show that i need him, but its not working. I msg him yest
and he seems happy. Im glad that he’s happy, but then again im hurts. I cried myself to sleep evrynight thinking about him. It’s so miserable, but time heals everything right?
I am on a break with my boyfriend of 2 years, we are on a break because he can’t appreciate me, he can’t appreciate anything right now and we just decided things werent going well and we should take a break and sort things out. As sad as I am, this is freaking gay! Its mostly about him so I am just supposed to sit and wait for him? I dunno, sometimes I want to wait, I love him and if only he could change…..but another part of me says there are so many fish in the sea and if he doesn’t make you completely happy you will find someone who will. I’m not sure what to do and only time will tell. My advice to all of you on this blog is if anything, learn from your relationships and as good as it sounds to jump right in to the dating pool I think everyone should figure out themselves first before getting into another relationship while you still have DAMAGED Goods written all over you, if your fresh out of a breakup you should fix yourself and nothing is better for doing that than a few friends! Good Luck everyone~LOve is A CrAzY ThiNg~
I have read every reply on the way down trying to find some advice for myself. Some things helped but my situation is just so different. My boyfriend and i broke up 2 weeks ago. we both still love each other very very much but due to circumstances outwith our control we had to break up. please don’t say no-one can make you do anything, i don’t want to go into it too much, we just had too break up and neither of us wanted it. Now i am totally heartbroken and don’t know what to do. I can’t stop thinking about him and my imagination gets carried away about him and his new life. I don’t know how i am ever going to get over him as i loved him more than life itself. We had planned to get engaged and but a house together this september( we had been together 4 years) but now everything has gone. Why did this have to happen to us? we were so happy together. I miss him too much and don’t know what i am going to do without him. He was my life and now i feel as though i cant breathe without him. Please can someone give me some advice, i really need it. Thank you xx
Well I have just split up with the love of my life after 7 years together and I am hurting so so so much, I just want this pain to go away. We broke up a month ago due to him always putting his friends first, he used to put me first but over the past year stopped. I found out yesterday that he has been seeing someone for 3 weeks, well actually they are engaged and he has moved in with her……..I know he wasnt with her when I was with him so how on earth can you love someone, get engaged and move in together after 3 weeks??? Apparently the wedding venue is booked too. Please someone tell me is this really happening? I feel like I am out of my body and well i dont know, I just want to die. I love him so much and I cant believe he can be so cruel xx
OK so here comes the cake….. I had a great business that I started myself. My boyfriend, in a related field got into the business to create a joint venture between the two of us; I thought it was going to be our first “child”–without all the child responsibilities. His demeanor is somewhat chauvanistic, thinking that men are the boss, blah blah blah… He shut off the love and the arguements were too much to handle. He was so controlling and everything I did was wrong. He began to exclude ME from the business. $5M in contracts later…. no boyfriend, and without my atttorney I would have had no stake in the contracts. He has decided to do the business himself after these projects are done. This guy pursued me—What the hell? I am crushed, and I have to work with this guy for the next year. HOW???? Traditionally the guys I have dated were HOTTT, this guy is tall lanky and dorky….WHY DO I STILL LOVE HIM? I feel like sh*t. I am attractive, but I do not feel like it– I went on a date with a hot guy to feel better…did the sex thing….and now in all reality I think men suck…maybe just in South Florida. My ex from Chicago was the first to say he wanted to date me again — I dated him from 18-21 (now I am 29). I know him but my heart is with the jerk. I am in need of some good advice. I am going CRAZY and it has been almost 2 months.
So Sad…. I get it… I dont know how they can be so cruel. I myself do not know what the solution is, but drinking is not–(figured that one out the hard way), dying isn’t (he’s such a jerk he would feel no guilt), killing him just gets you in more trouble…. as a last ditch effort, I would find my hottest guy friend and pretend like all is well, though I don’t think that will work either. Get a massage. Cry. GO see CLICK, its funny and puts things in perspective a little…. clean your house. Get a tattoo (the pain actually helps–i got my only tattoo touched up and refined) Get yourself looking your best –total makeover–loose weight, and wallow in your misery. When I figure out what comes next I will update you, or maybe the responses under ours will be blessed with Angelic advice. Sorry I cant be more help
I totally understand. I just finished things off with my boyfriend of two and 1/2 years. Although I loved him and still do, i felt it was the right thing to do. The point is though, that I’m having such a hard time getting over him. I can’t stop crying, am not hungry, can’t sleep…I’m depressed. Any advice??? Just to let you all know, the reason for the breakup was his way of acting with other females. How would you girls feel that when your boyfriend is with you, he is checking out other girls and pretending that he isn’t..trying to play you as a fool; thinking that you don’t notice. Also he is simply too friendly with other girls. I know he cares about me but i don’t know to what degree. Dont you girls think that if he does this now … he won’t later on … find the courage to cheat on me with another girl and lie to me about it? Oh yeah, that too…he loves to lie. I have caught him in so many lies… Now for feedback, do you both, guys and girls, think is worth to be next to someone that acts like that? I don’t think he is ready for commitment. From the very beginning, he wanted it all with me…followed me until I gave in and became his girlfriend. Little by little, is as if, once he got what he wanted, does it…he got it and now that he knows he achieved it … he could now move one. I say Immature. ADVISE??????
Getting over someone is to realize that you don’t need another person to be confident and happy. If you know yourself and what you want from life than life should be all that you dream, yet maybe not this second. Have goals and try never to be stuck on one demention of life. There are too many great things to experience to be stuck on any one issue. Imagine insted of a person who you miss it is a mermory and not a real thing, because sometimes its the thought that that person is having fun and or out there without you that kills us, and yet all they really are is a memory witch should be cherished not held in a negitive light. Much of life is fill with memories and they need not be desired.
My boyfriend and I have been together a year and 8 months. About 6 months into our relationship we broke up but got back together within a week, but that week hurt like hell. I couldn’t eat or sleep and everything made me cry. We have been back together now and we live together, but recently I found out a terrible secret. He told me he didnt have text messaging on his phone and I wanted to believe him, but realized he was being sneaky behind my back and hiding his phone. On July 4th I took his phone out to check if he missed any calls and saw text messages from a girl. There wasnt anything sexual, just friendly talk and one text saying “I cant wait to FINALLY talk to you” I confronted him and he said that she was a random girl he met on myspace and that he was just doing it for fun, he never meant for it to get serious. I believe that he never met her, but I dont understand why he would give a strange girl his number and text other girls, and lie to me telling me he didn’t have text messaging. I dont understand what I did and he said he doesn’t know why he did it. I feel like he is a stranger in my home. It is so hard to even look at him, but I miss what we had soo much. I want to forgive him, but I feel like I may never trust him again. I just dont want to go through that pain I only felt for a week all over again forever. Should I stay with this guy and give him another chance or move on?
Jen, people either liers or they tell the truth. If a person is lieing repeatedly than they are going to lie when ever its convenent for them to due so. Dont stay with someone who is going to lie to get his selfish own way, really do you think he acually cares about you if he is going to lie just so he can use you however he wants. The most importaint thing in a relationship is trust, if you lose that then its over sooner or later.
My ex still loves me,but he’s also in love with another girl…Should i try to win him back or move on and 4get bout him? I need som advice. I still miss him so and a day without talkin to him is so painful. Imagined him with another girl is like a knife goin thro my heart. What should i do
I have decided that “finding” someone “out there” is not what it is all about. I believe that we as human beings get it wrong when we think in terms of getting someone in our lives that we can love ,as if something is wrong with us …….like there’s missing piece of the puzzle. That “night in shining armor” or the cinderella syndrome is fantasy. If by chance someone comes along, then so be it but to think that we are not good enough and that love is something that we get vs something that we are is really not understanding what love is in the first place. Love is not exclusive to one person and that’s not to say that we can have a wonderful, committed relationship with someone but what I am trying to convey is that if we dont have” someone” in our lives exclusively……that doesnt mean that we are a failure or that we are not lovable or that life as we know it will be horrific. We are here to be love to all people in all places in all ways….not to just one person!
Even though him and i were only together for about a month, it was really hard for me that he didn’t want to be together. Two days after we got together he told me that perhaps he wasn’t ready for a relationship, even though it was him that asked me to his boyfriend, but later that night we went on to kiss and a couple of days later reconcile. The first two weeks were so great, he’d take me to the beach and to the parks where we’d just lay there holding each other. Out of no where, the third week came around and i became just another person. He wouldn’t call me or talk to me, i’d leave him messages and he wouldn’t respond. The fourth came and i didn’t see him at all. Days would go by with not one word from him. I finally got a hold of him, he had the nerve to tell me that I was clingy. The guy that had broken up with me the first time because he told me that we needed to get to know each other because he was so quiet. I told him i would help with that. Clingy? the guy that had begged me one night, while he was on a accidental high of meds and a shot, that to leave my previous boyfriend and go with him, “i promise i won’t make you mad or sad,” he said. Yeah, he did all of the above and just left me rattling my brain wondering truly why?
So I dated this girl for a little over a year. Prior to that, I knew she was a very promiscuous girl (slutt). We were extremely close and were basically best friends. She suddenly decides to break it off but we continued to see each other for 5 months or so and we did continue to sleep with each other. Finally, about a month ago she decides that we shouldn’t sleep with each other anymore which I had come to terms with. It was time to move on with my life. Just last week, she got really drunk and slept with her boss. I told her to stop calling me and to leave me out of her life but she continues to call me. Now she tells me how much she needs me in her life and how i’m the only one there for her. She continues to tell me she loves me and sees a future for us. I’m just completely outraged that she would make such a poor decision. Will I ever be able to look past her as being nothing more then a slut? Is this girl just depressed and looking for comfort? Does she really want me back or am I just a safety net.? Any advice or thoughts would be grately appreciated.
Me and my ex-boyfriend were together for about a year. I had just gotten out of a relationship with an emotionally abusive guy that i was with for a year…about 5 months later i met Sean, the boy who i just broke up with. Throughout our relationship everything seemed perfect, he would always compliment me, tell me how much he loves me etc… well anyways i totally trusted in him as we spent basically everyday together and grew very close. We were very close and only fought once in awhile mainly about me wondering if he looks at other girls or if hes meeting new girls when he went out with his perverted friends..so we would argue about that and also my bad habit of smoking cigarettes (he hated it), this was our main problem though (smoking). He would say he cares about me, chase me around and break my cigarettes etc… such a stupid scenario…so about a week ago i decided to tell him one day after school that we needed a bit of a break..he took this as “we broke up”..so we didn’t talk for a couple of days and then i decided to talk to him to see what exactly was going on..we began to talk and he said that we broke up…i only wanted a break in the beginning and he didn’t…after not talking for a couple of days he figures were broken up,and seems just fine and im the one sulking now. We talked a bit about why this had to be done (breaking up) and says because of my smoking cigarettes habit and because we would fight over it…i asked him how such a stupid thing like his smoking phobia could break us up when he said to me everyday for a year that he “WOULD LOVE ME FOREVER NO MATTER WHAT”…
all i know is the last couple of days i havent eaten anything, ive been extremely depressed and crying over the dood that i truly did love and who i did basically everything with..he taught me how to snowboard, he made me laugh all of the time and made good memories with me…and now all im left with are these memories and feelings of being lied too, cheated, USED and betrayed.
I dont understand how all of this just happened so fast…and how fast he is getting over it when hes the one that said he wants to marry me and that he would always be there for me!
The worst thing is to i will have to see him everyday at school in september we have basically every class together…in the future i would like to be his friend, however how do you become friends with someone you deeply love in a more significant way……how will i ever get over him…i need some opinions on what this guy is trying to do, is he trying to play it cool and see if i will chase him cuz he says “maybe in the future theres hope for us”…..or if he really does love me but doesnt want to see me kill myself by smoking…or is he just an immature little boy that did lie to meabout loving me forever and now wants to move on to meet other girls?…im confused,and hurting… could someone please post me an opinion about this.
i met this guy through work and were really attracted to each other but nothing ever progressed beyond this point. i developed very strong emotions for him and found this to be very troublesome. After a long absence of not seeing each other we met. To my disappointment he mentioned that he had a girlfriend whom he is living with, you can imagine how i felt soooo shattered i didn’t know were to run to. i felt angry and so silly that i had set my sights on him and felt he was the one. Although he boasts about his girlfriend, i find he still appears attracted to me and gets upset when he sees me with other guys. i have made up my mind not to continue pursuing him as i am clearly wasting my time. If he really cared about me we would be together. i have found it most difficult to get over him i am not sure wether its because i really believed he was the one, i realise now how you can deceive yourself so much about matters of love. i still have very unrealistic ideas about love. Anyway what i found useful is to pray alot and to become more socialable keeping up with friends. feeling sorry for yourself will not help, need to move on and meet others whom are much better. i still feel angry at times and find myself desiring for him, i think this is natural. i would also like to know why guys continue to act as if they like you when they know perfectly well they have someone. i find this irritating.
I had been seeing someone for 2 years…I fell madly IN LOVE with him too.. Now he’s just got me on this little string messing with my head.. I’ve never hurt so bad in my life… If someone can help me write michelmiebel@yahoo.com
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years now. We have been living together since day one & we have had our ups and downs, but we always manage to get through them. Just yesterday he left for vacation with some of his family members & he will be gone for one month. I have not been away from him in 2 years and have not slept alone. This morning i woke up and it finally hit me that he is gone..and not coming back for a while. He is in another country so I can’t call him when I want to & it is just one of the most horrible experiences i have ever had to go through. I don’t know what to do while he is gone, i have tried going out with friends, but everything I do just has this unsatisfying empty feeling. I don’t want to do anything besides wait by my computer hoping to get a chance to talk to him. I wish I was a stronger person and could ignore these feelings, but i cannot and i think this entire month is going to be a month of torture.
we meet in HS. i fancied him but i dont think he saw me dat way back then. anywas a year after HS he calls me up and we start talking on the fone none stop and fell in love. for stupid reasons we broke up. and since then its been on and off for 2 years. he done me wrong over and over again but i always forgive him. he probally thought i was da girl who always be there. i never wanted to finish things with him officially all this time. but as a woman i think he found my weak point and learned to push them. tonite was the final straw. i really wana let go and show him am OVER him and that i dont need all this heartbreak. i wanna move on with my life. i dont need any many for a while to make me feel guilty or bad. DAMN IT FEELS GOOD NOT REPLAYING TO HIM FOR ONCE. And reading all this stories. i wanna wake up in the morning feeling like a new woman. wish me luck everybody xx
Well, ive just gotten out of a relationship, it was only 5 months long, but its hurts really bad. But the only thing you can do is get up and move on with your life. If someone doesnt want to be with you, let them go. They will soon see what they have lost. It was her fault we broke up and a couple days latter she would call me asking for me back… Not going to happen…
You know, its been about 2 months since my last blog, and things are so different. The first time I wrote, my boyfriend/fiance of about a year, moved back to his home town and then dumped me the day he got off the road. I didn’t think I would ever be able to breath again. I didnt date for months, but I have done things to get my mind off of him. Gone out with friends, not called him, gotten a new job, taken up sports again. Well, I have now met someone who is a wonderful man. He’s kind, considerate, crazy about me, and I feel the same. So if I’m happy, then why do I still have a random dream or two about my ex? If I really like this new man I’m seeing, and we are taking it veryyyyy slow by the way, then why do I still feel such a sense of rejection when I think about my ex??
Hi to all of you. I found this website tonight and had a big sigh of relief, followed by tearful reading realising finally Im not alone. My boyfriend of three years, the man who wanted to marry me, broke up with me 3 months ago. Not only that, but he didnt even tell me, he just ignored me until i got the picture. Then 2 days ago I spoke to some of his friends who told me that he is on drugs and sleeping with a stripper (who he was cheating on me with). I feel lost, as he was so special to me, but I was not to him. I have since moved out of the area, tried to move on etc, but had no luck with feeling any better. I guess, just like many of you, I just dont get why he woke up one day and stopped caring. When I think of him now I feel literally sick in the stomach, and yet the thought of him still brings a tear to my eye. I just wish I knew when these feelings will stop, or how to make them stop. I want to live a normal life again, and I want to be happy.
July 9th, 2005 at 07:17 am
The only way to get over someone I find and I just got dumped by a women who I dated for just over a year and we were extreamly close. You have to get back on the hoarse.. I started out small.. Start with people you liked in the past and never really attempted to engage in anything with them.. It helped me im doing ok but it would be much worse if I just sat around.
July 17th, 2005 at 05:29 am
I’ve just broken up with someone I dated for three years. Its hard to resist the urge to pick up and call but call friends instead. I suppose it helps to know that break ups are hard regardless, and that you will feel crap for a while. Let it wash over you, let it happen and know that you are not going crazy, just going through a natural pattern. Every day that goes by is in your favour, because it brings you closer to the day when you will wake up and realise you feel quite ok. Also, know that one day you will be lying in the arms of someone who you love and who loves you - on that day you’ll look back at today and say to yourself: “So that was the plan! That’s why everything happened the way it did!” You;ll know the heartache was worth it because it healed, and you find something more amazing that you ever had. It was meant to be that you broke up with this person. Know that, have faith, keep busy and let time do its thing.
July 28th, 2005 at 10:31 am
Let yourself feel hurt; supressing the feelings will only make it worse. Once you have felt the feelings will have felt through; and than try to move onwards with your life meet new people; date new people!!
August 4th, 2005 at 01:26 am
My girl and I haven’t actualy officially broke up, but we dont see each other and it really sucks she dosent have any feelings for me “so she says” And its driving me totally crazy when i know we are going to break up, theres no chance seeing her or talking sence… I just getting mad aching burning and i just you know… Im getting mad by time really i am…
August 6th, 2005 at 12:45 am
he and i never dated, but man were we in love
but then i started freaking out cause the whole
situation was getting overwhelming
and you all say hang out with your friends and forget and let time do its magic
but thats the problem, he is one of my friends, and he and i are friends with almost all the same ppl
so that doesnt work
and yeah staying out and not moping around the house
crying your heart out is the way to go
till time kicks in
but man… its so hard sometimes
when you go to places that used to be your places
and hear songs that were your songs
October 12th, 2005 at 09:58 am
You can’t just get over someone. Those feelings are just too strong. Sure, you can go out and meet new people, have a few flings, party all the time, but everything would still feel empty. You will not be happy, you’ll be fake. Eventually, you will meet someone new and fall in love. Then that love will overpower your feelings from the last guy. That’s the only way to get them off your mind all the time. For me, each love has gotten stronger.
February 6th, 2006 at 06:27 pm
I know what you guys are saying. It takes quite a lot for me to “really” likesomone, and the guy I liked felt the same way, but then for some bizarre reason I chickened out and decided not to “go for it”, so he married his ex, now says he still loves me and sometimes I think I’ll never meet anyone else. I have to keep believing that I will. He says he made a mistake but thats not my problem, I won’t cause a break-up, so I have to just get on with it. Sometimes it is hard….othertimes I believe there is someone else out there just as special.
February 26th, 2006 at 08:18 pm
Getting over a breakup is so hard, so the guy i was with had sex with anuther gal wen we wer stil going out nd then he doesnt tell me about it until after i mthrough with him, i found out from one of his friends but i didnt tell him i knew because i still really loved him and wanted to hide my sadness. The best way to get over a break-up as i have found out, is to see other people that you find attractive but know nothing will go beyond flirting. you can see other people which slowly pushes the person ur gettin over out of your mind but your not getting into anything serious agen because that will only scare you and you will get worried about commitment and may fall back on your ex- as comfort. when you heve been flirting and having fun with other people and you arnt thinking about calling your ex atall, your ready to start dating and looking for love. The trick is not to go looking for love again too soon because you will only get hurt and lose another person close to your heart, good luck everyone xxxx
March 7th, 2006 at 06:48 am
Im going thu it right now, its way harder than i ever thought. Its been a month and shes already sleeping with someone else on a regular basis. I think the main thing is to keep busy. Its hardest at night when your trying to go to sleep and all you can think about is her with someone else, it drives me crazy. We have the same mates aswell which doesn’t help but i know that one day its not gunna hurt so bad and i might even wonder why it hurt at all.
March 8th, 2006 at 06:04 am
I really sympathise with you. I was going through a break up some months ago. It was really, really hard. I stopped eating etc. But I established contact with people i never really got to know. I started enjoying my singleness again.
started liking the fact that i am me. still was not as easy as i make it sound. took a while. then i started being my usual self. talked to more people. felt liked. felt welcomed. felt powerful. felt me. and forgot her. i was also confused abt my orientation. coz i am female. and then i met someone else with whom i thought i could have something. he was really nice. we had much in common. but then i realised that i just overestimated what we had— based on the qualities I saw. its like we always pretended to be great friends coz we had so much in common but not coz we genuinly felt that emotion….it is so hard to know sometimes what is genuine and what is not. unfortunately, i had told him once that i liked him. this would have made him feel superior or something subconsciously. i dont like him anymore. coz i dont think we really match. i am over her. i am over him. but yes, sometimes i do wonder if he was really good and that i miss out on him. but i think i am also really good and special and he misses out on me. so there. Hahahahaha. I am sure sometime I will find someone again, anyway it might be tooooo boring to be with ONE person forever. More importantly, hope I will grow into a self-reliant woman who does not have to depend on anyone. I get along well with spontaneous people. but not with those who are too busy to respond and stuff. on second thoughts, if people are too busy to do things it probably means that they do not want to do them. also i think it is bullshit that one can be friends with people one likes. this woman liked me. it was awkaward at first but then again we became reaaaaly good friends. with men there is more ego shit. but the good thing is that i dont think abt him now, i just think abt me and carefreeness, my sportedfreeness that beleives in love, joy, enjoying life and being spiritual and creative. Peace and wishes to all. You can overcome everything. No one is worth your tears soooo much. seriously. also if things are not reciprocal, no point in hurting yourself. You WILL find others. Take care.
April 3rd, 2006 at 03:36 pm
Getting over someone is the hardest obstacle! I think the best way to get over someone is let yourself feel the hurt and talk to friends and family because being with people that love you is the best medicine. Next, you HAVE to move on with your life as soon as possible, and learn to live your life without that person in it. Your time is precious and should not be spent pining over the past. I know all this takes time but all good things take time, believe me! Next, the worst thing you could do is get drunk, call them at midnight, and asking why this all had to happen, or hang out at the same bars they do as part of the healing process. No news is good news and the last thing you want is a feud over the phone or him out with his new date etc. It just hurts you a thousand times more! You dont want the short end of the stick! and certainly dont want him/her to think of you as that psycho that they once dated! You have just been released into a world of opportunity and with lots of fish in the sea. That person that has broken your heart has just given away to someone who is a thousand times better than you have ever dreamed, its true!
April 3rd, 2006 at 03:39 pm
The last sentence made no sense. what i meant was, that person that has broken your heart has just given you away to someone who is a thousand times better than you have ever dreamed. Oh and look after yourselfs, be the person you could have never been while with them and follow your dreams!
April 7th, 2006 at 10:36 am
Lara give great advice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
April 7th, 2006 at 05:44 pm
Never really over until you meet another
we should go out and meet others
April 10th, 2006 at 09:52 am
I dated someone for a year and was really close to them. He was in love with me over 8 months afterward but I knew it wouldnt work and didnt go back. Now, a year and a half after our breakup I am with someone amazing. its been 5 months with this new guy that is everything I dreamed of… but soemtimes i wonder if I really am over my ex. Its horrible and I want to move on, but its been hard to keep those memories and thoughts of my ex to a rare occurance. How do you know you really are over someone anyway?
April 16th, 2006 at 03:37 am
i agree that the only way to get over some1 is to move on and date others. although this back fired on me. my ex won’t get back with me because i kissed someone two weeks after we split up. we were together 18months, i was just trying to move on thinking that our relationship was completely over, but he thinks this proves i don’t care for him as much and is as bad as cheating, which isn’t true cause i wouldn’t be in agony right now if it was, although i will still carry on dating new people i still believe that finding another is still better than being alone, trying to recover from a breakup. time will heal all..
April 16th, 2006 at 05:16 am
Im going through it right now as well. I just found out that my girlfriend cheated on me while she was in California…..and even before, she made it so obvious that she was falling out of love with me, and it hurts really bad, especially knowing that you gave all you could and loved her more than you would love anyone else. Im slightly screwed on the going out and meeting new people part since i broke my leg 2 weeks ago. So here i am, sitting at home, while thoughts of her crush my heart…..any advice for me?
April 16th, 2006 at 10:08 am
It hurts real bad going through a huge break up, 2 years, down da drain, got dumped for a school, she left me and we couldnt work it out, now she pops out with “i dont love you anymore and dont see a future with you”, i felt my heart stop, i felt real bad, couldnt think, its not easy geting over someone you thought you would marry, and gave them the world, goes to show, shit happens, ive cried like a baby for days,months. partying,flings,random hookups dont work like everyone else says, da feelings stay and they still hurt, they dont really leave. will they ever? i really dont know, so many good memories…i hope she realizes how much she fuked up, for all u suckers like me, i feel you and i hope it works out with the girl you of your dreams. some of us get lucky some of us dont, If it’s love they will come back. “goodbye my lover -james blunt” p/o people
April 22nd, 2006 at 05:16 pm
Rosie, I feel the same way only I’ve been with my new boyfriend for over a year. What happens now?
April 23rd, 2006 at 08:33 pm
I’ve thought I was going with a guy for a year. We have know each other for 15yrs. He said we were just friends, not boyfriend and girlfriend. My heart is so broken. I actually fell in love with him.. I guess he wasn’t ready for a comittment.
April 25th, 2006 at 03:30 am
I have been “hanging” out with this guy for over 6 months now, and just the other day he said he just wanted to be friends. i cheated on my last b/f with him and thought that is was really going to work. ill be the first to admitt he isnt the nicest guy in the world, but thats why HE dumped me. bc he hated the way he treated me and he is going to be super busy this summer. but yet he said he has never felt this way about anyone before. is it bull, or is he really just scared b/c he knows i might just be too good for him? i hate it.. how do i get over this kid? i told him i would wait, but i dont think i should but i care so much…grr
April 28th, 2006 at 05:41 pm
me and my girl broke up and she tells me that we are gonna get back together. She says she needs like a month away and she will be ready for good to stay together. i dont understand it makes no sense att all. I wish i could get over her and move one but part of me wants to wait. Overall id jus have to say im screwed i dont know what to do and i dont know where to go. im lost
April 29th, 2006 at 01:16 am
i would have gotten over my ex-boyfriend a long time ago, if he had only given me the space to do so. i found out that he was with someone and i told him to choose between both of us. apparently he wanted to have his cake and eat it too, so i left him feeling so hurt that i had invested so much love, time and energy into the relationship because he said it would be just the two of us.i made the decision but i think he is happier with her than he pretends. anyway, why does he still keep coming around me when he knows he has nothing to offer me.i know that if he keeps his distance i’ll keep mine. but hey, that’s life …you win some and you lose some. how do you get over such an egotistical man who you once founf comfort with.i’m so sorry i met him.i know i’ll be over him soon but there is a lump of rejection in my throat cause i had to let him go since he didn’t want me and wasn’t honest enough to say it.ASSHOLE.
April 29th, 2006 at 01:26 am
look samantha, the only way to get over this guy is to FORGET HIM!!!!u know thats the right thing to do, he didn’t mean you any good from the beginning and he is going to just keep hurting you if you let him. avoid him and find other things to keep your mind occupied like party and stuff!!Celebrate , you have just gotten rid of a load of shit and he is no longer your concern.
May 4th, 2006 at 09:03 am
Whenever you think about the person,just picture him/her taking a big fat dumb.You’ll be digusted and feel nothing but utter disgust.It is bound to work.
May 4th, 2006 at 10:32 pm
Okay, I read every blog as I am going through the same healing process. My ex-boyfriend and I broke-up two years ago and we have intimately entertained getting back together for the last two years since we both were in love ( or so he said). Only to find out those last two years he was seeing someone else! I ran into them four days ago at one of his houses he was having built. She and I were livid at him. He called me several times and showed up on my porch to explain he wasn’t having sex and he was only with her one year. She and I exchanged numbers (don’t know if this was a good idea) her word only catapolted my pain and anger. She explained and elaborated just to cause me more pain. The bottom line is all the bad times and problems we had, all connected now, knowing he was seeing someone else. It all made sense now and I know he was seeing her for two years. Why was he seeing me too? I gave him something she didn’t and she gave him something I didn’t. I was the love and affection and she was the stable, peaceful one. He had his cake and ate mine too. I hated him for playing me so bad. I tried to go out with one of those several others that liked me and I felt like I was faking. I loved the idiot and my heart is having a hard time with this. I’ll slowly re-enter the dating scene and just keep busy allowing myself to stop thinking about what injusted he rendered on me. The bad part is that I helped him open a cafeteria business on my job and have to see him everyday or just don’t ever go eat in the cafe’. I do understand it had nothing to do with me and everything to do with him. I worried if he was begging her back as she said he wsa and he denied, but realized she would be the dumb one cuz obviously she wasn’t enough if he was coming to me for intimacy. He just better be glad I’m not really crazy or he would have been in the news. I’ll be okay, I’ll be OKAY!
May 7th, 2006 at 02:49 pm
I’ve been in love with this girl for a very a long time. We are very good friends. Actually when I fell in love with her she noticed that something was different and insisted that i share it with her. I told her that I was in love but didnt tell her the name. At one point we got drifted apart but after 2 long years we had rediscovered ourselves as friends. We got really close and she insisted that i propose to the girl that I fell in love with. So I proposed her. But she said no!!! It always felt that she knew who it was..for some reason. Now it seems really difficult for me to get over her. We are still good friends and I keep pretending that I am ok with the fact that she rejected me..but I am not..I hate to know that some day she would find someone and get married..I am a very practical person and I know that you somehow always get over..but for now it doesnt feel like that..
May 9th, 2006 at 03:41 am
Iv fallen in love with this guy i work with him hes with sumone else but i just cant seem to move on i cry over him everyday i cnt sleep eat or do anything i no people say keep ur self busy but it rly doesnt work im just 2 depressed and cnt b bothered 2 go out unless its to see him. im only 16 and hes 25 does anyone think theres anything wrong with that and what shall i do?
May 12th, 2006 at 08:02 pm
I have just been dumped by my boyfriend of 6 months, I really love him but apparently the feeling isnt returned. Its hard to believe it though because I am not the sort of person to stay around if I dont feel loved - he has huge commitment issues and is going away for a long time this autumn and didnt see the longterm potential.
I can only tell myself that things happen for a reason, that he obviously wasnt the person for me othersie he would realise how goddamn wonderful I am - does anyone want to be with someone who thinks theyre “ok” but is still looking for someone better to come along?? Me neither, the loneliness will pass as it takes 21 days to break a habit and then Im setting myself loose on the unsuspecting public because there is no way Im wasting a summer feeling blue. I hope you all feel better too!
May 13th, 2006 at 07:27 am
I just broke up with my boyfriend, and i Really love him but he tells me he doesnt love me anymore.It Sucks so Bad.But im not gonna be with someone who doesnt even love me. I will find someone better. He is the one who loses out. NOT ME. I ve been crying for a steady week and i need something else to do besides cry over him. The one thing that my goverment teacher told me was Never cry over a boy, theyre just a waste of your time.The Man that makes you cry is gonna make you cry tears of JOY!!! Not Saddness. Thats the one thing that ill never forget him saying.I think the reason why i am so upset is because i feel the pressure to have a boyfriend since i am still in high school. thank goodness i am almost done. I am gonna have a great summer ahead of me…stress free with out him.
May 14th, 2006 at 10:37 pm
I
May 17th, 2006 at 04:21 am
Okay, it’s been a few weeks since I wrote my saga, I still work with him and it slows the healing process. He even had the nerve to see if he could get intimate with me again. I refused and ran away, but I recently helped him out of a problem, when I could have let him crash and burn. I still love him and realize that I have the problem. I have been rejected (htis has never happened to me in life) therefore, I am not getting the love and acceptance I thought I needed from him and I have been going to great lengths to get it, almost obsessively. Rejection brings loneliness and great pain. I know that I know that I’m better off without him and if he doesn’t want me why do I want to be with him? He brought me to a breaking point and I actually have to be thankful for that. It hurts like a mutha, but the key word is break. Sometimes we have to break to find new direction or a breakthrough. He would have been a terrible mate, untrustworthy, uneducated, unpolished, and egotistical. Who know what kind of life we would have had together. He saved me. I am learning no matter what he’s done and how many times he’s let me down again and again, I can’t be bitter, I actually have to rejoice that I can actually have a better life than the one I was so bent on having with this guy. He will be the one unhappy, because until he gets right…he will get left. I turn to my friends, my God and release my frustrations and move on. You must vent and release the pressure, thanks for this page. I will write again in a few weeks to allow those who are going through the same to witness the healing process and see the hope. Because I would have never dreamed I could get over this guy…I was wondering in the wilderness, wasting my time for 4 yrs. Not another minute…my happiness is moments ahead of me!
May 23rd, 2006 at 06:46 pm
Hey yh i broke up with my boy f just two weeks ago but they’ve flew by but he stil on my mind no matter where i go or what i do. It ok when i am busy but when you are lying in bed waiting to go to sleep that worst or wen urs and him song comes on it seems everything reminds you of them which is gay. One thing is each day it gets a little bit easier. What I do is give myself a target to do each day seems ludacris but it helps because it gives you something to look forward to and to complete and kinda takes ya mind of them for a while. It isnt easy and it really annoy me wen pps are like you will get over it yes u will but u jus bin deeply in love with that person probs thought they were the one and then for this to happen u feel like ur world eneded anywayss i no one day i’ll wake up and ill be ok but till that day comes i will have to keep busy!
May 25th, 2006 at 08:57 am
I am currently trying to get over someone I might be in love with. I met him about year and a half ago, we work together. We stared hanging out together alot, and had a really good time. He tells me I am attractive, that I am good looking, and that I should be with someone who can be good to me. By the way, I am not involved wiht anyone. The last guy burned me so bad that I decided to be single for a while. But this guy that I work wiht just changed everything. I think I am seriouly into him, but he doesn’t know. I can’t tell him. I am not sure why he is being nice to me, is it because he feels bad for me or becasue he really is interested. I told him I was through with dating because of my past relationship, but he just won’t go away. He hasn’t asked me out on a date, but keeps telling me things like: we are all not the same, I am great to women, you can have fun wiht the right one. I am not sure how to interpret this anymore. It’s been a year since I fell for him, and I am not sure what to do anymore. I just think he a player and doesn’t really like me. This situation sucks. Just when I think I am getting over him, he comes back with one of his lines. I just want to free myself of him. I don’t want to care about him or anything he says. I wish he would just stop giving me hope. I am going crazy over this. I can’t sleep or eat. He is all I ever think about. I can’t even concentrate on my work anymore. I know it’s pathetic, but I don’t know how to control it anymore.
May 25th, 2006 at 06:11 pm
I read all of these and I have to say that it really helps. At least I know that there are others going through the same thing. My boyfriend of 5 months just told me that he needed space by himself and that, oh, by the way, met someone that he also wants to see. He proceeded to tell me that he thought seeing other people would let him know how true his love is for me. He’s 25 and I’m 29, that is stuff you say in high school or college. Well, it shouldn’t be said period. It’s only been a week and i have been so upset crying myself to sleep at night. The thing is, that before he told me this stuff, I was thinking that the relationship didn’t seem right. I felt that, though he said he loved me, I didn’t feel it b/c he spent so much time with others and only 2-3 times a week with me. We did everything on his time table. If he had plans or didn’t want to hang out, we didn’t. If he felt like grilling out, we did. If I had plans he would say that I was ruining everything. Also, he was jealous of every guy that I was friends with, ironic seeing as though he is the one that went and met someone. I felt like i could only say certain things around him or he would turn it into a fight. Ok, after saying all of that, then WHY am I crying over him? It’s ridiculous!! I should be jumping up and down and saying THANK GOD that I didn’t end up with him. I think for now, i need a break from dating even though everyone on here suggests dating casually right away to get over it. I am just worried about my judgement. This isn’t the first guy that has turned out to be such an ass. I think in the beginning that this person is sooo different and wonderful and by the end I think, oh my God what was I thinking. The worst part is that I don’t get out when I should, I wait for them to break it off every time. My question is, does it get easier and how do I take the blinders off?
May 27th, 2006 at 03:35 am
It has been two months since my four month relationship ended. Yes, it was only four months but enough to fall in love and be hurtful for the next two months. There’s more… We didn’t break up because we had relationship problems, or we hated eachother; we broke up because we both agreed that it was the right thing to do. We agreed that I should work on fixing my marriage. Yes, I am married and we broke up so that I would not throw my marriage away. However, it’s been two months of hell as I can’t focus on anything except “him”. It was amazing to find someone so compatible with you that sometimes I wished for a time machine — trust me when I say that we were great together… Now I’m trying to let “him” go but It doesn’t help that I work with him and see him all the time, which sometimes we end up meeting after work to talk/cope, but ending up “all over eachother” causing the feelings to come back, and me not being able to let “him” go - again. I’m trying to let “him” go but he’s there at all time, I often get weak and call him, and why wouldn’t I, he’s geat and I’m in love with him. But the problem comes back when he’s not there all the time and I feel like someone is stabbing me. In regards to my marriage; we have problems that I admit avoiding talking to my husband about it. Although, the few times that I have brought up certain problems, my husband turns it all around on me as it’s always my fault, and I should fix things. His actions are mostly the reason why I didn’t regret having an affair. I also don’t know if I’m still in love with my husband; the eight years that I’ve been married to him have been a battle on my side as I always give in and please him, but right now I’m running out of “love unit” as I’m about to blow up!!! Yet, I gave up (kinda) a great guy to try to fix something that may not have hope….I don’t know what to do. I’m hurtful all day long because I don’t have “him” as I’m trying to fix a husband doesn’t respect me. Can my husband be changed? Do people change? Should I give up on my marriage? Should I quit my job to avoid seeing “him” and only focus on my marriage?
Any suggestions would be great….
May 28th, 2006 at 11:29 pm
Im a junior in high school. I met a guy. He was absoulutely amazing and treated me like a princess. So we went out for a year and a half and I just broke up with him five days ago. I knew something was wrong when he started to make up excuses for us not to hang out. I used to pick him up from work but lately, he hadnt been wanting me to. He had been saying he was with his dad/friends/brother/etc..This made me really suspicious so one night I decided to surprise him and pick him up. He walked out with another girl and they left together. He called later that night, not knowing that I had seen him, and said he had been with his friend. I broke up with him. It turned out he had never done anything with her, he just liked her alot. I would have rather him cheated on me. I think its the worst feeling when your boyfriend actually has feelings for someone else. You think there’s something wrong with you and that you arent good enough. Now I feel like no one will ever love me. I’ll never be able to act like myself again around someone else. It hurts and I can’t stop crying. I spent every day with him. Every place and every song has a memory. I know he misses me too and its hard for him. I dont know what to do..im so confused.
June 1st, 2006 at 05:35 am
Its great to have a read of all of the above. Nice to know that others are feeling the same way as me. I have been breaking up with my boyfriend since February, but tonight it feels really over between us. We have been together for over 5 years now & our r’ship was incredible. I won’t bore you all with the details of why it ended because its very complicated, but i am going to try do good things for myself over the next while, do what makes me happy, do what makes me me. I think that is the way to get over someone - be your own person, rather than a part of a couple & by making new experiences for yourself, you will grow in another direction that will take you somewhere else where you won’t be plagued by memories of a love lost.
June 1st, 2006 at 06:05 am
well I am currently 3 days into the worst possible break up in my l asife. At least after I found out now all the messed up stuff instead of later.
I got jumped defending this girl and my nose got messed up so now i have a scar from defending the lying snake i was with. I bought us a house and took a job working for the same company as her, in 2 years she had not come home about 5 times on weekends and never called, bassically dissapeared, now looking back, the first suspician i shoulda hightailed it as fast as I could, but i loved her so i didnt ask questions, and gave her the benifit of the doubt. She proceeded to tell me she loved me, sleep itht ive n\e same bed, and pulled another no show, and i found out she slept with a guy that works accross the street from our building.
Heart ripped out, and practically spit on. I confronted her asking her what happened, (we had pretty broken up) and she lied to my face,
To the curb with the vile snake. So now I have to work around lying cheating people, and look across the street. I cant decide if i should quit, I think sticking around her will lengthen my healing emensly, And i have another job lined up., my freinds think I would be running away because the other job is back home (colorado). I think a major scene change/relocation helps heal stuff faster, i have alot of friends i can hang out with back in colorado as well.
Bottom line is it does hurt like hell, but time and destraction, keeping your mind on somthing else helps in the intial time, As its been said, trying to not be alone is helpfull, I think the best thing that helped me change my perspective from victimized to at least content was that getting rid of a cheater gets rid of a messed up negative thing, and that Is always a good thing in the end, no matter how much you loved them.
If they cheat, get rid of em, you dont deserve that kinda stuff, and it will be fine eventually.
good luck everyone.
June 4th, 2006 at 12:54 am
Don’t be desperate. Don’t beg. If you are broken up with, as hard as it may be, leave him alone. Spend time with friends, and take advantage of the things you could not do before, while in the relationship. Meet other people and takes things slow. And don’t call him, email him, or message him. Or at least don’t do it a lot. I just got out of an 18 month relationship, which we both knew was sort of going badly, and I admit I have contacted my ex, but I am trying to keep this to a minimum. You can’t get over someone if you are always wanting to hear from him, or talk to him. Let him be.
June 4th, 2006 at 02:26 am
I just got out of a 8 month relationship with my boyfriend two weeks ago. It’s been really hard, but I am very proud of myself for not calling him or let other aspect of my life fall behind. The hardest thing is knowing someone who promise to love you forever can change their mind so easily when things get rough. The lesson I learned the most is that I deserve to be love for who I am and if that person can’t accept me for all of me including my flaws then that’s not the person for me. The best thing is to focus on yourself, what makes you happy. Happiness shouldn’t be depended on others. Now that I am out of the relationship, I feel more motivatied than ever to improve who I am as a person. I changed my diet, exercising, getting spa treatments, starting new hobbies, all this things really help me to get over someone. It also tells me that the relationship wasn’t meant to be and now I can be a better person for my next partner.
June 6th, 2006 at 03:49 pm
hey guys
i just broke up with my boyfriend because he is a liar. when u break up with someone, i know its hard to get over them… but just keep reminding urself of how horrible this person was to u and how u deserve so much more. i have to keep meeting this guy, so i dont actually know how im gonna cope with having him near me for 3 days…. but im sure that i dont want to go bak to the way things wr!
its hard to get rid of guys. but i also realised that the only reason i was with this guys was because i craved kissing and stuff with him. but thats not life is all about…
i hope i get ova this guy.. but i still kinda wanna b friends.
wish me luck~!
June 6th, 2006 at 10:54 pm
My girlfriend and I just broke up. It was a mutual thing but I did initiate the convo. that ended it all. Based on certain things that she said and did I suspected that maybe she did not truly care for me. There was a lot of physical intamacy between us yet when I would tell her I liked her she had trouble saying it back. This bothered me, it made me wonder if all she wanted was the physical and nothing more. When a girl gets as physical with me as she did, I begin to believe that she wants something meaningful. But she gave me mixed signals as far as that was concerned and this made me insecure about the genuiness of her feelings for me. There were also times when I felt she did not respect my opinions. She also admited that she has trouble with committment.
However, I blame most of this on myself. I realize now that I smothered her with attention and affection. I think that this turned her off. Now I am kicking myself. I just wish I hadn’t taken it so fast. Perhaps if I played the game differently and let her enjoy the “thrill of the chase”, we would still be together. I made it too easy for her and this killed any feelings she had for me. I feel like it’s my fault. Maybe she wouldn’t have had trouble coming across to me if I hadn’t rushed things. What’s worse is that in the beginning, I wasn’t rushing and then I started analyzing her feelings and taking things seriously. This caused me to go to fast which destroyed everything that I built with my own two hands.
Now, I obssess over her all day. It’s like a drug. My body aches from head to toe. I have to find a way to believe for sure that she wasn’t worth it. I’m going to have a nervous breakdown soon if I can’t find a way to relax. Was she just taking me for a ride or did I ruin something good? I have to find out either way or else I’m going to go crazy!!
Someone respond please
June 7th, 2006 at 12:07 pm
My boyfriend of 8mths and i have been going through a rough patch. He says his work commitments are getting in the way and he can see that he upsets me when he cant be there for me like he used to. he had been treating me badly but still says that its not my fault. as a result of this we are on a break. i had given him a few weeks to sort himself out, and if that cant be done we would need to have a chat about where it was going.
Its only been half the time that i had given him, but it makes me so upset to know that he’s out there having fun and doing what he wants while im here waiting for him. Ive come to the realisation that he wont go back to the way he was anytime soon, so ive decided to break up with him. It sucks when there was a time when we were so in love and couldnt get enough of each other. we were even planning on getting married (had the ring and all), which is why i had planned on waiting for him.
it was hard to make the decision but why should i put my time and emotions into someone who wont do the same? ive had to think positively about the whole thing so that i dont get upset. but what do i do now?
June 9th, 2006 at 02:37 am
I’ve continued seeing this guy for a year and a half , Bad and I mean a BAD relationship .I Should’ve jumped ship and I knew it , but I stayed I liked his style , liked the things he said . He made me laugh . He was silly and fun. I figured he was screwing with someone else when we first met , turns out I was right . Hell he had a girlfriend already and was doing her , her friend , and myself . Jeez leewwez , dang-nation the boy was a regular action jackson. We went to bars and parties ,he hit on girls when I was with him. I started cheating on him with his roomate and my Ex and other ppl , I felt guilty each time. I became pregnant and stopped messing around. I tried to keep true to him cuz I promised him I would be and he promised me he would be too . He landed himself in the county lock-up on DUI charges and now I’ m by myself , been messing with my Ex . I put his shirt on ( btw the shirt I bought him as part of a Valentines Day present this year ) reached into the pocket and to my suprise there was an empty condom wrapper , no explanation required . I know that he was fucking around on me then a couple of months before .I did feel guilty for messing with my Ex but not now. Hell I wanted to marry him but nope, skip that noise . Oh well , wanted to trust him but there is just no way possible now. Without trust there is no relationship . I have to go back to school and go back to work , I’m not going to be worrying about what he’s doing at MY house when I’m not home. I haven’t broken it to him yet , he is still in jail . I don’t want to say anything or cause a big drama , just want his shit out of my place and get on with my own shit. He is however the father of my child as he signed the birth certificate , So I have to put up with him probably for the next 18 years. Unless I can get him to sign off on the parental rights . I don’t really think the baby is his. He does take good care of the baby .Though We have a lot of disagreements mainly over trust issues some have gotten very violent , he was arrested. My family and friends are angry with me for staying with him. He had isolated me from them. Right now I’m hanging out waiting for him to get out then maybe I’ll end it . I don’t know what to do. He may get more time for violating a previous probation , he may even be deported back to the country he is from. Don’t know yet.
June 9th, 2006 at 02:46 am
He screws around on me ,I screw around on him , there is just nothing there. I don’t even want to screw with him anymore . I care about him I’ll probably miss all the stuff we used to do but I’ve got a future and a child to raise. I need someone stable and ready to settle into family life , until i find that person I’ll probably try to get my shit sorted out .
June 10th, 2006 at 03:52 am
My ex and I broke up 3 weeks ago. I felt as thought for the first two weeks I was holding on to any and all hope that my phone would ring, it would be him calling telling me he wanted me back. My mother had surgery today and I called his mother to update her about the surgery and he answered. He was so cold, distant, as though the year we were together didnt even happen. He seemed annoyed that it was me on the phone. After him giving me short answers and seemingly uninterested, I called his hand. I asked him if he was even planning on asking about my mother. He got tiffed and hung up the phone. I later talked to my cousin who really shed some light for me. I’m 27, she’s 37 and is an amazing woman. Her advice to me was that the minute he said it was over, to take the attitude ” OK, BYE.” And never call again. Leave his butt alone. She said “if you have to, call friends instead of the ex. Go out and do the things you never could or did do while you were together to make new memories, with out him. Put a pillow behind you at night to feel yourself close to something. Buy a great vibrator because sometimes the loss of the physical intimacy is just as destructive as the emotional loss.” I’m finding that there is more to it than that, but her attitude of really showing me that if someone is emotionally absent when you have needed them the most, better to find out now they aren’t from good stock than to marry them and really be crushed down the road. There is a plan for everyone one of us on this earth. Whether you believe it is divine or from your own determination and will, we all have to walk out some sort of plan. I’ve realized my plan is not brooding in anger or hurt, but literally reaching down deep inside, into your stock. Your fortitude, your determination to not let the actions of someone else determine what kind of a life you will live. I can not control my ex, I can not make him go, nor can I make him stay. But I can control how I live and love from this point on. Love is not an emotion, it is truly a choice. I am chosing right now to put the past behind me. He made his intentions clear when he broke off the engagement. All I can do is chose to love myself, even in the midst of my mistakes in the relationship, and breathe. Breathe in and out, put one foot in front of the other and take one day at at time. All I can do is chose to love again. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but one day sooner than I realize, I will be at a crossroads again where I am deciding about dating, getting serious, falling in love, chosing to trust, and saying yes again to a proposal. But for today, I’m in love. I’m in love with a new beginning, a new hope, a new leash on life. I’m not keeping score, I’m not wallowing in the past, I’m chosing to let it go. Yes, it hurts. But so does cancer, so does a toothache, so does a splinter. But eventually the hurt fades, the wound isnt tender anymore and sometimes it doesnt even leave a scar. Somtimes you cant even remember the pain as bad as it was. My mother equated it to childbirth. It hurts getting something that large out of your body, but once it is out, the pain stops. And you are left with a new beginning, a new life. Take it and make it your own.
June 12th, 2006 at 01:00 am
well here’s my story, started hooking up with this guy we were both in it for the whole friends with benefits deal he stayed in it for that reason but my feelings evolved to something more, wanted to start something with him but he was going off to college. ended real real real bad, we go to the same college im dating someone new who the complete opposite of this guy, treats me with respect, loves me, wants the best for me, takes care of me, treats me like a princess and yet 3 years later, i still can’t get over the guy that screwed me over, and im almost convinced i will never get over him…bottom line-
“every woman needs one old love that she can imagine going back to and one love to show her how far she has come”
maybe we’re not ever really supposed to get over “that” person?
June 16th, 2006 at 02:30 am
Its hard!! Really hard!! When you have practically almost lived with the guy for all of your college life and suddenly he graduates and has to leave and you are stuck all by yourself on campus with nothing to do and noone to go to coz all your friends have alreayd left for home…I think I am goign crazy! I dont know of a life oncampus without him. We used to eat, drink, study….do almost EVERYTHING together and now suddenly I find myself all alone..With NO fault of ours!! I still love him to death. He loves me to death…WHy did we break up?? COZ OUR FREAKING PARENTS WONT AGREE…see we belong to two different countries…different cultures…different religions…The only common factor that brought us both together was college…had the best times together…
we knew this was all gonna come to an end one day but we still carried on..we were so in love..its been 2 weeks since he left and its killing me…I dont think my life is worth living anymore..I dont think I can ever find a person who can love me as much as he did! Its impossible…He sacrificed so much for me. Even I didnt do so much for him as he did for me and yet..its all over……
I even almost cheated on him once. I dont know what came over me…but I kissed a guy and I was so freaking guilty about it later that I couldnt stop crying for two days..Then I went and told him what I did…I couldnt bear the guilt anymore…and all he said “Stop crying…You dont deserve to cry.”
How can someone be so good to someone who has been so bad to him!! I love him more than anything else in the world…I just wish I could find some way of getting back with him…but I dont think I am ever seeing him again….
June 20th, 2006 at 06:13 pm
I broke up with my ex of 7 months about a month ago and it feels like hell.
When I met him I did not think he was my type or anything, but fun to be with.
We did not have a bad relationships but it was a strange one. All we’d do is sitting around watching horror movies every night, going to the pub or meeting his friends (all his exes, yes his exes)… I could not make my peace with the fact he only socialises with his exes and I got jealous and could not see them having anything in common but there was one who was always there, the one I had my doubts about as he did not like me and made me feel uncomfortable…
When my Father passes away I had to go back to my hometown and everyone called me but him, who only sent me an email saying sorry and if I was ok. I was determined to dump him there and then but my Mum convinced me some people react to this differently that I should be more understanding.
My ex would drop anything for his last ex and that, together with the lack of sex made me thing he was cheating on me.
I would get drunk and tell him how I was angry about his indifference and his straneg attachement to this guy. He would just say that there is nothing going on, that we should not talk too much about the relationship cause it will only kill it.
He promised to do many things with me and he never did. I was getting bored of the same routine all the time. I had some exams coming up and I decided I’d dump him after them. I got ill and he never came to visit. He said he was not a Doctor to help me and that he’d have to wake up too early for work if he came.
I could not take it anymore and told him that maybe we should call it a day. he said yes, the best thing to do.
He let me go so easily and a week before he said he was blissfully happy with me. This all made me feel like I have been used and really, emotionally abused. I went mad, started texting him, emailing him abusive stuff. I was angry and lost. He siad He had not loved me for the past 4 months and he was only pretending. He said he was now relieved he did not have to do it anymore. This is what killed me.
I still am and I am ashamed of the things I said and having humiliated myself so much.
I am alone and still miss him and I am unfortunately still hoping he’ll come back and say he still loves me, but I know he is an emotionally unavailable person and I was only wasting my time with him. I went along with whatever he wanted to do when we were together and now I see that was my mistake and not having drawn a line between the 2 of us in order to see him from a distance and study him and decide if I wanted to go further…. Sometimes loneliness makes you do the most stupid things.
I will get better but it is so hard and I keep thinking I am going mad and reproaching myself for having done what I did.
June 21st, 2006 at 02:49 am
I have everybody beat on how long couples were with each other. Me and my girl were together for 3 and a half years. We were engaged once. She dumped because of me. I know this only because I realized how much of a champion asshole I was. I would get mad at the little things that shouldn’t have mattered if you were in love. I was controlling, everything had to be my way. She was with the plan until we started fighting every other day. How could it have come to his. All those promises of being together forever, talking about our future kids, how we were gonna be when we were old and grey. God, I miss her terribly. Is it just me or do any of you feel as if your chest has been caved in, and your soul has been injected with the most hurtful poisons. I can’t sleep at night, I constantly think about her. I try to do things that would make me forget, trying to keep busy but the pain endures. I feel as if I’m slowly dying from the inside out. It’s true what they say, you never know what you have till it’s gone. There are so many “What Ifs?” that I could have done to make this relationship better. I guess when it comes to love, you can’t change who you are. Am I making progress to seeing a brighter day? Why do I feel like she’s going to come back to me? I wish I could go back in time and change my ways from the very beginning. She was my highschool sweetheart. What if I don’t find anybody that measures up to her? The pain is so thick, that I wish I had never met her so the thought of her leaving me wouldn’t haunt me. Please help me.
-The regretful EX-boyfriend.
June 21st, 2006 at 03:00 pm
Yup i know exactly what it’s like except that my ex dumped me 7 months ago and i still find myself thinking about it and it really hurts. The last time i saw him was in January and he broke up with me on January 13th… a Monday, a day i will never forget. He was my first relationship so i had no idea what to expect when i began dating him. We were only for a month and a half and even though that does not seem long, it seems like a whole year to me since in that short time i had gotten to know him well, at first i was really shy and in doubt of everything (my situation at home at this time was not stable and i was feeling pretty bad) yet whenever i saw him things got better. However New Years changed everything… he said some stuff to a friend of mine when he was drunk. After that everything fell apart, she told me and i told him… he stopped contacting me for a long tim, endless weeks without a call or message from him, it drove me crazy. I’d email him in hope of a reply but he never emailed back until one day i just asked him what was going on and he said he was really messed up, apologised and said he wanted to be friends. When you hear the word “friends” you instantly know that it’s over. I was absoloutely crushed, for weeks i could not get over it, everything was miserable and i could not bring myself together. Constant reminders of him were everywhere to me, the places we had been, the music he listened to, the people he knew etc it’s really hard.
Now that time has passed i still sometimes say the occassional hi, and he will too. But it’s the not the same anymore and i know it never will be. My friend is going to his house this Friday and she wanted me to go and even though a part of me really does i know i can’t. He has not invited me so therefor it gives me no reason to go and see him. I long to be with him again and wish things were how they used to be but i know in my heart that is impossible. It will take me a long time to fully heal but each day is getting easier, it’s not as hard as the first few months. i just have to keep myself occupied, meet new people and slowly move ahead yet i will never forget the times we had. that is something nobody can ever take away from me.
June 22nd, 2006 at 02:58 pm
i was chatting to improve my english & i met him online , he seemed so cute and respected .. after few weeks he said i need u in my life as a wife i tried to tell him that it wouldn’t work because we didn’t know each other that well, but he said that he is going to loose his mind if i didn’t accept him … so i loved him and frankly i loved so much so honestly i loved him in a wat i can’t express… but suddenly he changed his numbers without saying a word i kept trying to find him although i knew very well that we weren’t in the same country but it was just like if i wanted to do anything to help myself … and after 2 months which i spent doing nothing just crying and thinking of him the whole day i found him once online i talked to him but he didm’t reply and i bigged him 2 much just to answer me and to tell me wgat had happened but after a very long period he said simply : dear my parent didn’t accept the whole issue and they forced me to be engaged to another girl whom they choosed for me , just forget me live ur life and wish me good luck in my coming life…
i was shocked i tried to kill myself but i didn’t die .. the problem now isn’t only that i can’t stop loving him but also i can’t forget him i tried my best to move on but i gained nothing … he was my first love and i loved him so much i will do anything to be with him but how ? i am only 20 but i feel that i can’t bear all that it is really hard to bear it .. plz tell me what to do ?
give me any advice that will help me plz :’(
June 23rd, 2006 at 02:47 pm
Lara gave some really good advice it still has me feeling like there is hope. thank u!!!
June 26th, 2006 at 08:56 am
Well I dated this guy for two years and we broke up about 10 months ago and it still hurts like it was yesterday. He was my first love and the first guy that I allowed myself to trust. I opened up my soul to him and gave him all that I had, which in the end was the worse thing I could do, because when I had to walk away…I had nothing. I didn’t know how to breathe without him and I felt like I was going to literally die. I know it sounds crazy to talk like this…trust me I never thought I would be this way…but when you love someone, really love someone and it ends, its one of the hardest things. We talked about marriage and kids, and I was pretty sure we were going to get married. I guess I learned there are no guarantees in this life. So let me tell you how it all went down…a year into our relationship I found out he cheated on me…we broke up, but I took him back in hopes of working things out. We were doing really good, even decided to get an apartment together, which is a really big step for me because I do not believe in premarital living. But the fact of the matter was I still hurt and that hurt in turn made me pick fights because I was hurting. I didnt trust him..I would check his cell phone when he was in the shower…but I loved him and I was determined to make it work. Well one day he told me he was interested in a girl that he worked with and I had to pack up all my stuff, leave the place I thought was my home, the place I felt the safest and try and understand. This was def the hardest time in my life. I didnt eat, so much to the point that I lost 15 lbs and ended up in the hospital. I slept all the time, I went out drinking all the time in hopes of drowning the pain, I literally was a stranger in my own body. I didnt know what to do. I know this sounds like something that a weak person would do, but trust me its not even about that…its about loving someone soo much and not knowing how to let them go when they are telling you that you have to. Like I said, its been 10 months and I’m still very much in love with him and I tried the whole going out thing and meeting new people but its not working for me. As soon as I start liking someone, I run so far and so fast because I’m soo scared and I do not know how to care for someone else. Is is possible that you are supposed to love someone? I just wish I knew what to do so I could live again.
June 28th, 2006 at 01:34 am
Well, I am in the middle of a breakup. I bet no one who ever posts here reads it again afterwards but heres my story for the record. I have been going out with a woman for three years, we are both in our 30’s and decided we were going to give it a good go right from the start. We knew we were very different people but we both found each other attractive and liked each other. OVer the three years we have gone out together I think we grew to love each other but there was always something missing…that ‘connection’ that you have when its true love…the kind of love that would let you die for the other person…we dont have that….we have comfortable wrapped in a blanket type love but not the insane crazy love that completely consumes you, which is what I think we are both looking for. Either way we have decided to break it off as netiher of us think we are completely happy….but I still love her and worst of all is she is gong to be in my life for the net two months driving me crazy. If she is going to go I just wish she would leave and get it over with but our situation is extremely complicated we own property together and live in the same flat…its all just really sucks and I hate it. I feel like I am going crazy insane half the time and I just want to kill something to make me feel better and the other half the time I feel nothing and I want to bash my hand into a wall or burn myself with a lighter just to be able to feel something, anything at all.
June 29th, 2006 at 11:18 pm
It’s been months after the break up of 2years w/ my ex. It’s so hard trying to 4get him. He was my first in everything. During the 2 years we’d been 2geta, he still has feelings 4 sum1 else. It hurts knowing that those 2 years didnt mean crap to him. I felt like i wasnt good enough, that i couldnt even replace that girl in his heart. B4 when we were separated, he told me he’s waiting for 2 people right now. 1 was me and the other is that “girl”. What’s the point of saying that…I was right there in front of him, waiting. Why do he have to wait for the other girl who has a bf already? That makes me think that he doesn’t truely love me. So i wasted my 2 years with him and during those 2 years was just a lie. I told myself to get over him,try to not call him, try not to show that i need him, but its not working. I msg him yest
and he seems happy. Im glad that he’s happy, but then again im hurts. I cried myself to sleep evrynight thinking about him. It’s so miserable, but time heals everything right?
June 30th, 2006 at 02:17 am
I am on a break with my boyfriend of 2 years, we are on a break because he can’t appreciate me, he can’t appreciate anything right now and we just decided things werent going well and we should take a break and sort things out. As sad as I am, this is freaking gay! Its mostly about him so I am just supposed to sit and wait for him? I dunno, sometimes I want to wait, I love him and if only he could change…..but another part of me says there are so many fish in the sea and if he doesn’t make you completely happy you will find someone who will. I’m not sure what to do and only time will tell. My advice to all of you on this blog is if anything, learn from your relationships and as good as it sounds to jump right in to the dating pool I think everyone should figure out themselves first before getting into another relationship while you still have DAMAGED Goods written all over you, if your fresh out of a breakup you should fix yourself and nothing is better for doing that than a few friends! Good Luck everyone~LOve is A CrAzY ThiNg~
June 30th, 2006 at 01:49 pm
I have read every reply on the way down trying to find some advice for myself. Some things helped but my situation is just so different. My boyfriend and i broke up 2 weeks ago. we both still love each other very very much but due to circumstances outwith our control we had to break up. please don’t say no-one can make you do anything, i don’t want to go into it too much, we just had too break up and neither of us wanted it. Now i am totally heartbroken and don’t know what to do. I can’t stop thinking about him and my imagination gets carried away about him and his new life. I don’t know how i am ever going to get over him as i loved him more than life itself. We had planned to get engaged and but a house together this september( we had been together 4 years) but now everything has gone. Why did this have to happen to us? we were so happy together. I miss him too much and don’t know what i am going to do without him. He was my life and now i feel as though i cant breathe without him. Please can someone give me some advice, i really need it. Thank you xx
July 2nd, 2006 at 06:23 pm
Well I have just split up with the love of my life after 7 years together and I am hurting so so so much, I just want this pain to go away. We broke up a month ago due to him always putting his friends first, he used to put me first but over the past year stopped. I found out yesterday that he has been seeing someone for 3 weeks, well actually they are engaged and he has moved in with her……..I know he wasnt with her when I was with him so how on earth can you love someone, get engaged and move in together after 3 weeks??? Apparently the wedding venue is booked too. Please someone tell me is this really happening? I feel like I am out of my body and well i dont know, I just want to die. I love him so much and I cant believe he can be so cruel xx
July 3rd, 2006 at 12:24 am
OK so here comes the cake….. I had a great business that I started myself. My boyfriend, in a related field got into the business to create a joint venture between the two of us; I thought it was going to be our first “child”–without all the child responsibilities. His demeanor is somewhat chauvanistic, thinking that men are the boss, blah blah blah… He shut off the love and the arguements were too much to handle. He was so controlling and everything I did was wrong. He began to exclude ME from the business. $5M in contracts later…. no boyfriend, and without my atttorney I would have had no stake in the contracts. He has decided to do the business himself after these projects are done. This guy pursued me—What the hell? I am crushed, and I have to work with this guy for the next year. HOW???? Traditionally the guys I have dated were HOTTT, this guy is tall lanky and dorky….WHY DO I STILL LOVE HIM? I feel like sh*t. I am attractive, but I do not feel like it– I went on a date with a hot guy to feel better…did the sex thing….and now in all reality I think men suck…maybe just in South Florida. My ex from Chicago was the first to say he wanted to date me again — I dated him from 18-21 (now I am 29). I know him but my heart is with the jerk. I am in need of some good advice. I am going CRAZY and it has been almost 2 months.
July 3rd, 2006 at 12:35 am
So Sad…. I get it… I dont know how they can be so cruel. I myself do not know what the solution is, but drinking is not–(figured that one out the hard way), dying isn’t (he’s such a jerk he would feel no guilt), killing him just gets you in more trouble…. as a last ditch effort, I would find my hottest guy friend and pretend like all is well, though I don’t think that will work either. Get a massage. Cry. GO see CLICK, its funny and puts things in perspective a little…. clean your house. Get a tattoo (the pain actually helps–i got my only tattoo touched up and refined) Get yourself looking your best –total makeover–loose weight, and wallow in your misery. When I figure out what comes next I will update you, or maybe the responses under ours will be blessed with Angelic advice. Sorry I cant be more help
July 4th, 2006 at 09:28 am
I just got dumped after 2 years. He was married! I hurt so much. But you know, we all get over it.
July 5th, 2006 at 11:17 pm
I totally understand. I just finished things off with my boyfriend of two and 1/2 years. Although I loved him and still do, i felt it was the right thing to do. The point is though, that I’m having such a hard time getting over him. I can’t stop crying, am not hungry, can’t sleep…I’m depressed. Any advice??? Just to let you all know, the reason for the breakup was his way of acting with other females. How would you girls feel that when your boyfriend is with you, he is checking out other girls and pretending that he isn’t..trying to play you as a fool; thinking that you don’t notice. Also he is simply too friendly with other girls. I know he cares about me but i don’t know to what degree. Dont you girls think that if he does this now … he won’t later on … find the courage to cheat on me with another girl and lie to me about it? Oh yeah, that too…he loves to lie. I have caught him in so many lies… Now for feedback, do you both, guys and girls, think is worth to be next to someone that acts like that? I don’t think he is ready for commitment. From the very beginning, he wanted it all with me…followed me until I gave in and became his girlfriend. Little by little, is as if, once he got what he wanted, does it…he got it and now that he knows he achieved it … he could now move one. I say Immature. ADVISE??????
July 7th, 2006 at 12:41 am
Getting over someone is to realize that you don’t need another person to be confident and happy. If you know yourself and what you want from life than life should be all that you dream, yet maybe not this second. Have goals and try never to be stuck on one demention of life. There are too many great things to experience to be stuck on any one issue. Imagine insted of a person who you miss it is a mermory and not a real thing, because sometimes its the thought that that person is having fun and or out there without you that kills us, and yet all they really are is a memory witch should be cherished not held in a negitive light. Much of life is fill with memories and they need not be desired.
July 8th, 2006 at 01:21 am
My boyfriend and I have been together a year and 8 months. About 6 months into our relationship we broke up but got back together within a week, but that week hurt like hell. I couldn’t eat or sleep and everything made me cry. We have been back together now and we live together, but recently I found out a terrible secret. He told me he didnt have text messaging on his phone and I wanted to believe him, but realized he was being sneaky behind my back and hiding his phone. On July 4th I took his phone out to check if he missed any calls and saw text messages from a girl. There wasnt anything sexual, just friendly talk and one text saying “I cant wait to FINALLY talk to you” I confronted him and he said that she was a random girl he met on myspace and that he was just doing it for fun, he never meant for it to get serious. I believe that he never met her, but I dont understand why he would give a strange girl his number and text other girls, and lie to me telling me he didn’t have text messaging. I dont understand what I did and he said he doesn’t know why he did it. I feel like he is a stranger in my home. It is so hard to even look at him, but I miss what we had soo much. I want to forgive him, but I feel like I may never trust him again. I just dont want to go through that pain I only felt for a week all over again forever. Should I stay with this guy and give him another chance or move on?
July 8th, 2006 at 04:15 am
Jen, people either liers or they tell the truth. If a person is lieing repeatedly than they are going to lie when ever its convenent for them to due so. Dont stay with someone who is going to lie to get his selfish own way, really do you think he acually cares about you if he is going to lie just so he can use you however he wants. The most importaint thing in a relationship is trust, if you lose that then its over sooner or later.
July 9th, 2006 at 03:37 am
My ex still loves me,but he’s also in love with another girl…Should i try to win him back or move on and 4get bout him? I need som advice. I still miss him so and a day without talkin to him is so painful. Imagined him with another girl is like a knife goin thro my heart. What should i do
July 9th, 2006 at 07:07 pm
I have decided that “finding” someone “out there” is not what it is all about. I believe that we as human beings get it wrong when we think in terms of getting someone in our lives that we can love ,as if something is wrong with us …….like there’s missing piece of the puzzle. That “night in shining armor” or the cinderella syndrome is fantasy. If by chance someone comes along, then so be it but to think that we are not good enough and that love is something that we get vs something that we are is really not understanding what love is in the first place. Love is not exclusive to one person and that’s not to say that we can have a wonderful, committed relationship with someone but what I am trying to convey is that if we dont have” someone” in our lives exclusively……that doesnt mean that we are a failure or that we are not lovable or that life as we know it will be horrific. We are here to be love to all people in all places in all ways….not to just one person!
July 10th, 2006 at 04:06 am
Even though him and i were only together for about a month, it was really hard for me that he didn’t want to be together. Two days after we got together he told me that perhaps he wasn’t ready for a relationship, even though it was him that asked me to his boyfriend, but later that night we went on to kiss and a couple of days later reconcile. The first two weeks were so great, he’d take me to the beach and to the parks where we’d just lay there holding each other. Out of no where, the third week came around and i became just another person. He wouldn’t call me or talk to me, i’d leave him messages and he wouldn’t respond. The fourth came and i didn’t see him at all. Days would go by with not one word from him. I finally got a hold of him, he had the nerve to tell me that I was clingy. The guy that had broken up with me the first time because he told me that we needed to get to know each other because he was so quiet. I told him i would help with that. Clingy? the guy that had begged me one night, while he was on a accidental high of meds and a shot, that to leave my previous boyfriend and go with him, “i promise i won’t make you mad or sad,” he said. Yeah, he did all of the above and just left me rattling my brain wondering truly why?
July 10th, 2006 at 09:43 pm
So I dated this girl for a little over a year. Prior to that, I knew she was a very promiscuous girl (slutt). We were extremely close and were basically best friends. She suddenly decides to break it off but we continued to see each other for 5 months or so and we did continue to sleep with each other. Finally, about a month ago she decides that we shouldn’t sleep with each other anymore which I had come to terms with. It was time to move on with my life. Just last week, she got really drunk and slept with her boss. I told her to stop calling me and to leave me out of her life but she continues to call me. Now she tells me how much she needs me in her life and how i’m the only one there for her. She continues to tell me she loves me and sees a future for us. I’m just completely outraged that she would make such a poor decision. Will I ever be able to look past her as being nothing more then a slut? Is this girl just depressed and looking for comfort? Does she really want me back or am I just a safety net.? Any advice or thoughts would be grately appreciated.
July 11th, 2006 at 12:11 pm
Me and my ex-boyfriend were together for about a year. I had just gotten out of a relationship with an emotionally abusive guy that i was with for a year…about 5 months later i met Sean, the boy who i just broke up with. Throughout our relationship everything seemed perfect, he would always compliment me, tell me how much he loves me etc… well anyways i totally trusted in him as we spent basically everyday together and grew very close. We were very close and only fought once in awhile mainly about me wondering if he looks at other girls or if hes meeting new girls when he went out with his perverted friends..so we would argue about that and also my bad habit of smoking cigarettes (he hated it), this was our main problem though (smoking). He would say he cares about me, chase me around and break my cigarettes etc… such a stupid scenario…so about a week ago i decided to tell him one day after school that we needed a bit of a break..he took this as “we broke up”..so we didn’t talk for a couple of days and then i decided to talk to him to see what exactly was going on..we began to talk and he said that we broke up…i only wanted a break in the beginning and he didn’t…after not talking for a couple of days he figures were broken up,and seems just fine and im the one sulking now. We talked a bit about why this had to be done (breaking up) and says because of my smoking cigarettes habit and because we would fight over it…i asked him how such a stupid thing like his smoking phobia could break us up when he said to me everyday for a year that he “WOULD LOVE ME FOREVER NO MATTER WHAT”…
all i know is the last couple of days i havent eaten anything, ive been extremely depressed and crying over the dood that i truly did love and who i did basically everything with..he taught me how to snowboard, he made me laugh all of the time and made good memories with me…and now all im left with are these memories and feelings of being lied too, cheated, USED and betrayed.
I dont understand how all of this just happened so fast…and how fast he is getting over it when hes the one that said he wants to marry me and that he would always be there for me!
The worst thing is to i will have to see him everyday at school in september we have basically every class together…in the future i would like to be his friend, however how do you become friends with someone you deeply love in a more significant way……how will i ever get over him…i need some opinions on what this guy is trying to do, is he trying to play it cool and see if i will chase him cuz he says “maybe in the future theres hope for us”…..or if he really does love me but doesnt want to see me kill myself by smoking…or is he just an immature little boy that did lie to meabout loving me forever and now wants to move on to meet other girls?…im confused,and hurting… could someone please post me an opinion about this.
July 17th, 2006 at 02:54 am
i met this guy through work and were really attracted to each other but nothing ever progressed beyond this point. i developed very strong emotions for him and found this to be very troublesome. After a long absence of not seeing each other we met. To my disappointment he mentioned that he had a girlfriend whom he is living with, you can imagine how i felt soooo shattered i didn’t know were to run to. i felt angry and so silly that i had set my sights on him and felt he was the one. Although he boasts about his girlfriend, i find he still appears attracted to me and gets upset when he sees me with other guys. i have made up my mind not to continue pursuing him as i am clearly wasting my time. If he really cared about me we would be together. i have found it most difficult to get over him i am not sure wether its because i really believed he was the one, i realise now how you can deceive yourself so much about matters of love. i still have very unrealistic ideas about love. Anyway what i found useful is to pray alot and to become more socialable keeping up with friends. feeling sorry for yourself will not help, need to move on and meet others whom are much better. i still feel angry at times and find myself desiring for him, i think this is natural. i would also like to know why guys continue to act as if they like you when they know perfectly well they have someone. i find this irritating.
July 28th, 2006 at 01:18 am
I had been seeing someone for 2 years…I fell madly IN LOVE with him too.. Now he’s just got me on this little string messing with my head.. I’ve never hurt so bad in my life… If someone can help me write michelmiebel@yahoo.com
July 28th, 2006 at 11:49 pm
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years now. We have been living together since day one & we have had our ups and downs, but we always manage to get through them. Just yesterday he left for vacation with some of his family members & he will be gone for one month. I have not been away from him in 2 years and have not slept alone. This morning i woke up and it finally hit me that he is gone..and not coming back for a while. He is in another country so I can’t call him when I want to & it is just one of the most horrible experiences i have ever had to go through. I don’t know what to do while he is gone, i have tried going out with friends, but everything I do just has this unsatisfying empty feeling. I don’t want to do anything besides wait by my computer hoping to get a chance to talk to him. I wish I was a stronger person and could ignore these feelings, but i cannot and i think this entire month is going to be a month of torture.
August 1st, 2006 at 06:08 am
we meet in HS. i fancied him but i dont think he saw me dat way back then. anywas a year after HS he calls me up and we start talking on the fone none stop and fell in love. for stupid reasons we broke up. and since then its been on and off for 2 years. he done me wrong over and over again but i always forgive him. he probally thought i was da girl who always be there. i never wanted to finish things with him officially all this time. but as a woman i think he found my weak point and learned to push them. tonite was the final straw. i really wana let go and show him am OVER him and that i dont need all this heartbreak. i wanna move on with my life. i dont need any many for a while to make me feel guilty or bad. DAMN IT FEELS GOOD NOT REPLAYING TO HIM FOR ONCE. And reading all this stories. i wanna wake up in the morning feeling like a new woman. wish me luck everybody xx
August 2nd, 2006 at 02:36 am
Well, ive just gotten out of a relationship, it was only 5 months long, but its hurts really bad. But the only thing you can do is get up and move on with your life. If someone doesnt want to be with you, let them go. They will soon see what they have lost. It was her fault we broke up and a couple days latter she would call me asking for me back… Not going to happen…
August 3rd, 2006 at 06:04 am
You know, its been about 2 months since my last blog, and things are so different. The first time I wrote, my boyfriend/fiance of about a year, moved back to his home town and then dumped me the day he got off the road. I didn’t think I would ever be able to breath again. I didnt date for months, but I have done things to get my mind off of him. Gone out with friends, not called him, gotten a new job, taken up sports again. Well, I have now met someone who is a wonderful man. He’s kind, considerate, crazy about me, and I feel the same. So if I’m happy, then why do I still have a random dream or two about my ex? If I really like this new man I’m seeing, and we are taking it veryyyyy slow by the way, then why do I still feel such a sense of rejection when I think about my ex??
August 5th, 2006 at 10:05 pm
Hi to all of you. I found this website tonight and had a big sigh of relief, followed by tearful reading realising finally Im not alone. My boyfriend of three years, the man who wanted to marry me, broke up with me 3 months ago. Not only that, but he didnt even tell me, he just ignored me until i got the picture. Then 2 days ago I spoke to some of his friends who told me that he is on drugs and sleeping with a stripper (who he was cheating on me with). I feel lost, as he was so special to me, but I was not to him. I have since moved out of the area, tried to move on etc, but had no luck with feeling any better. I guess, just like many of you, I just dont get why he woke up one day and stopped caring. When I think of him now I feel literally sick in the stomach, and yet the thought of him still brings a tear to my eye. I just wish I knew when these feelings will stop, or how to make them stop. I want to live a normal life again, and I want to be happy.